“I’ll be fine,” Jenna told her. “If I need someone to talk to I’ve got you, right?”
Lacey looked concerned. “Aren’t your parents being supportive?”
“They are. In their own way. But I-I can’t tell them about this.” About the horror. The fear. The pain.
Her hands shook so badly she couldn’t get the top off the bottle of water. Lacey took it from her and undid the top, handing it back.
Jenna took a few sips, grateful her stomach remained calm. She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. “I hate being weak.”
“I know it must feel that way, Jenna. But don’t underestimate what you went through. Being afraid doesn’t make you weak. It makes you smart.”
“I blocked everything out to protect myself, didn’t I?”
“It was the brain’s way of protecting you from the trauma.”
“They shot all those people. It didn’t matter if they were just children. My colleague, she begged them,” she sobbed, “she begged for her life, and they just shot her, but I lived. Why?”
Lacey sat on the bathroom floor with her. “I don’t know that, Jenna.”
“How did they know my dad had money? Did they go there for me? Why did they kill everyone?”
“I don’t know. Maybe we never will.”
And not knowing was going to eat away at her. How could she ever feel safe again, when she didn’t have answers?
They’re across the other side of the world. They’re not coming for you here.
Somehow, that didn’t seem to help. It was like she’d worn rose-colored glasses all her life, and now those glasses had been ripped off her and stomped into little pieces.
Nothing was the same, and adjusting to life as she now knew it was something she just wasn’t certain how to do.
Fifteen minutes later, she reassured Lacey she didn’t have to call someone for her, that Hans would get her safely home. She sensed the other woman was also shaken.
She walked slowly down the corridor at Black-Gray. Lacey had wanted to escort her out, but Jenna had wanted a few minutes to herself.
“Jenna? Jenna, wait.”
The hand on her shoulder made her cry out in fright, and she turned, stumbling back. She saw Curt’s shocked face before he took a step back, holding his hands up as though trying to appear nonthreatening.
It didn’t really work. At around six feet tall, he wasn’t the biggest guy she’d ever met or the most handsome. But he had a look about him that warned you he was dangerous. He could appear so cold and removed.
He could also make you feel like you were special with just one smile, one look.
She took one deep breath then another.
“I’m sorry for scaring you. I called out to you, but you seemed to be deep in thought.” He studied her closely, his gaze narrowing. “Have you been crying?”
Crap. The last thing she wanted was for him to see her as weak, even though he’d seen her at her worst.
“I’m fine. I just . . . I had a session with Lacey just now. Things were a bit intense.”
“I thought you couldn’t remember anything.”
“Well, that all changed today,” she said dryly. “The hypnotherapy worked, and everything came back to me. Most of it anyway.”
He frowned. “And Lacey let you just walk out on your own? Where’s Hans?”
He knew about Hans?