There’s another note under the double-size pudding cup.
Pudding cup.
I laugh. Usually she puts fruit in my lunch. Or protein bars. Today I’ve got a pudding cup and a homemade Rice Krispie square treat. What’s with the pudding cup?
I’ve seen a whack of empty ones in the recycling bin, too. Clearly she’s eating pudding herself.
Another note.
Austin,
I hope you like egg salad. If not, let me know and I won’t make it for you again.
I have plans today that might make me get back late. I hope it’s okay if you can fend for yourself for dinner. I wasn’t organized enough to plan ahead. I’m sorry. If it’s not, message me before two o’clock if possible and I’ll make sure I get something ordered or picked up for you.
Thanks,
Jada
This girl.
I’m missing her.
But this is better. Better for both of us. Especially her.
Can I get away with fucking her again next time I see her? I don’t know. The way she switched into detached with me the other day – it has me thinking this is too much. That I should leave her be.
My cell phone rings at four o’clock.
“Hey, favorite sister-in-law!” I greet.
“Yo, what the fuck, buddy?” Carly asks and it takes a second to realize she’s not joking.
“Huh?”
“What the hell did you do to Jada?”
“Do to Jada?” I parrot.
“You broke her!”
I blink in surprise.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, but I don’t need to ask. I already feel it. Reality lashing across me like a whip covered in razor blades.
“I asked her what was going on with you and she started crying on the phone and was pretending she wasn’t, but I know she was. She’s having a shit time with her brother, too, and right now she’s at the hospital because of her father’s stroke, but the reason she’s crying is you and we both know it.”
“Huh?”
“Did you break her heart?”
“Maybe she’s crying about her dad,” I say. “A stroke? Is he okay?”
I loosen my tie.
Her father had a stroke? And she’s asking me if I can fend for myself because she wasn’t organized enough?
“He seems okay, but she is not! Clearly you’re not paying attention. Did you fuck her over?”
I swallow.
“Austin!”
“Kind of. Maybe.”
“You fucking alphahole!” Carly shouts.
Fuck.
“I’m doing it to protect her, Carly. I just backed off, that’s all. Reset the parameters and she got it.”
“She got it?”
“Yeah.”
“She. Got. It? You think so, huh?”
I hold the phone. Clearly yes is the wrong answer here so I’m not about to say it again and court the wrath of my sister-in-law, who my brother describes as a Pitbull puppy with her toys taken away when she’s angry.
“Do you care about her?” Carly demands.
I hold the phone.
“Don’t be an asshole to her, Austin. If you aren’t in love with her, fine, whatever, but don’t treat her bad. She’s going through a really rough time right now and if she’s pretending she’s okay with whatever this is you’re doing, she’s not okay. She’s not.”
“I’m having a shit time too, if you didn’t hear,” I snap. “And is it my fault if she’s not fine but she’s pretending she is? Am I supposed to be a mind reader?”
“Yeah, but see… no, your argument is bullshit. You’ve got a whole pile of people who have your back, people who are here to support you even if it’s just over the phone and you know for a fact that any of us would drop everything and come to you if you said you needed us. Jada has nobody but her brother and her brother is in the mental ward for trying to hurt himself on Monday and her father is now in the hospital after having a stroke Wednesday, and Jada has nobody! Except me. Don’t make me come down there, Austin… Up there, I mean. I will come up there and kick your ass.”
I’m thrown.
“I didn’t know that stuff, Carly.”
Monday? Her brother tried to hurt himself Monday?
We fucked in the kitchen on Tuesday and she didn’t say anything.
There wasn’t time for her to say anything, though.
“Because you’re avoiding her after you … what … had sex with her?”
“She hasn’t given you any details?” I ask.
“Of course she hasn’t. She’s not like that! The only reason I even know anything is going on is because I called her about sending me back the money. And of course I haven’t said a word to her about anything you’re going through, but maybe if you told her what you’re dealing with-”
“What money?”
“I gave her money when the shit hit the fan, when you got there from St. Kitts and she sent it back to me. I told her to keep it and I’ve sent it back to her and then she sent it back to me again so we’re having this argument over text where the money flies back and forth between us like four times and finally I call her, and I know immediately something’s not right. And the thing that’s most not right is you, you big alphahole jerk.”