“Let’s go,” I say. I’d been thinking, ‘Let’s get this over with’ up until this morning, but seeing all these people here, either for my dad or in some cases, for me, it has me emotional, but in a way that feels weird, yet not unwelcome.
Austin has been my shadow the past few days. Always here. Always doing things for me. Holding me. Touching me. Never pushing me to talk or ignoring me when I start babbling.
I’ve leached a whole lot of strength from him while leaning on him the past few days. He’s been unwaveringly here for me since the minute I phoned him to tell him my father died.
Having that strength in a partner in life? I know now that what I’ve had from him is something extraordinary. And I now couldn’t settle for less from a life partner. Austin has ruined me for other men.
We’re at the bar in a matter of minutes.
“Wait.” I say as he reaches for his door handle.
He looks at me.
“Thank you.”
Surprise fires up in his eyes.
“You’ve done so much for me. I can’t…” I shake my head, hoping he can see how heartfelt this is. “can’t imagine how much worse this would have been without you. I’ve never had someone be so present for me through a crisis, through anything. You’ve been amazing.”
He lifts my hand and kisses it. “That’s gonna be your life from now on, baby. Having me wherever you need me, doing whatever I have to do to give you happiness. I want you happy more than I want anything.”
I’m floored.
“You’re not getting it so I’m gonna be firm in this and you need to hear and believe me. Okay? I’m here. You aren’t alone. You will never again have to go through anything by yourself with no idea who you can possibly call.” He grinds his teeth.
He’s angry. For me. Because I was alone?
I tilt my head and give him a sad smile. “There’s just no way that’s true. If only it was…”
His face changes. “Jada. I’m not fuckin’ around here.”
God, he’s amazing. And he’s going to feel so bad when he realizes he doesn’t really mean this.
He grabs my face and hauls my mouth to his, plundering it hungrily.
I’m in shock, I think.
“You don’t get it, sweetheart. You’re mine. I’m yours. You and me are Austin and Jada. Like there’s an Aiden and Carly. Like there’s an Adele and Dirk. We’re the real thing.”
“Austin…” God, if only this were true.
“I wasn’t gonna do this until tomorrow, but you and I need to have a good, long talk. We’ll stay here for an hour tops and then we’re going to go and do that.”
I open my mouth to speak but he hushes it with another kiss and then, in a daze, I follow him inside to the reception.
***
There’s a lovely luncheon set out with sandwiches, finger foods, Doc’s famous chili, and coffee and tea as well as a five-hundred-dollar bar tab open for drinks on Rich Miller. There’s a wall set up with photos people have shared of various times here in this bar with Dad and his friends. Pictures of him laughing, pictures of him holding Doc in a headlock. A picture of my dad and a pretty waitress, I’m guessing by her apron, in a clinch. That one shocks me. Dad never brought women home. Did he ever date anybody? There are even two photos of him at his job and about six of my dad with his red muscle car.
And Austin makes sure I’m good. He steers conversations when I go quiet with people. He subtly prompts me when I trail off during a conversation. He’s kind to the staff and the people who stop by to offer condolences and say their goodbyes to us as they head out.
Andrew seems resolved that Austin has moved in on me. He’s been good-natured and there hasn’t been any noticeable friction between him and Austin today. He stands there chatting with Raven most of the time we’re here.
My cousin Darlene approves of Austin. She keeps giving me open-mouth expressions whenever he turns his back. She also flirts with Andrew at one point.
Austin strikes up a conversation with Darlene and her mother while I’m talking to Erin, another girl from my writing class, and Darlene looks at me, leans over and stage-whispers, “If you weren’t blood I would steal him from you. My God, Jada!”
We stay an hour and forty-five minutes before Austin abruptly stands and announces that we are leaving, that I’d had a long day and he wanted me to get time to unwind.
It takes ten minutes to say goodbyes including my heartfelt thanks to Frank, Walter, and Doc. Frank invites me to stop in anytime. And then Austin asks me if I want to stop by the house. I tell him I want to go back to the condo today. I’ll deal with the house later. The Carmichael family leaves. I’m again astounded they flew in for just a few hours, driving for several in the case of Carly’s mom and aunt.