“Where are you going?” Noah asked, his voice strained as I went to grab my bag in the far corner of the room. I pulled out one of the small foil packets and returned to the bed. Noah eyed it, looking apologetic.
“I should’ve thought of that.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, flushing. “Aoife gave them to me.”
“Aoife’s a good friend.”
“Yes, she is,” I agreed, glancing down at the condom. I bit my lip and met Noah’s gaze. “I have no clue how to, um ...”
He reached out, caressing my cheek. “We’ll figure it out.”
Noah crawled atop me again, his lips returning to mine. Slowly, I relaxed, pleasure seeping back into me as I lost myself in his kiss. In his lips and teeth and tongue. He lowered his face to my neck, scraping his teeth across my skin, and I undulated, moaning quietly.
“How are you so … so good at this?” I breathed, and he gave a deep chuckle.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about it.”
A flush broke out across my chest. “Oh.”
He chuckled some more, a little of his cockiness breaking through, and every part of me burned for him. I was on fire. We couldn’t possibly get any closer, but my body begged for more. He drew back then, picking up the condom. He glowered at it, his brows drawn together in concentration as he tried to figure it out. I’d never seen anything sexier than Noah tearing open the foil and rolling the piece of rubber down his stiff length.
He positioned himself back between my thighs, and time slowed to a snail’s pace. I felt like I was holding my breath, unsure what was to come next. Would there be pain?
Noah’s eyes asked a question, and mine gave the answer. Yes, I want this. I only exhaled when he pushed inside, joining us completely. He seemed to breathe in the air I let out. The sharp, stingy pain of him entering me felt like a rip in space and time. Nothing else existed in that moment but the two of us.
His lips pressed to mine once more, his kiss ferocious, like he was trying to suck the pain out of my body and into his. I became aware that he was just as tense as I was, but probably for a whole different reason. Noah held still inside me, his eyes clenched shut.
“You feel incredible,” he said, jaw working. “Am I hurting you?”
I reached up to cup his cheek. “It’s a little sore, but it’s okay.”
He opened his eyes. “Do you want me to keep going?”
“Yes,” I breathed. “Don’t stop.”
He moved his hips again, gentle at first, but slowly increasing in speed. The longer he was inside me, the more I became accustomed to him, and the sharp pain started to fade. It was still there, but there was pleasure as well. The two melded, bringing forth a sensation that was unlike anything I’d ever felt. A moan escaped me, and the noise did something to Noah. He palmed my hips, and everywhere he touched felt like a claiming. I was mesmerised by him. I always found him attractive, but he was so much more than that. He was a work of art. A thing of beauty rendered even more exquisite by the chips and cracks he’d gotten along the way.
He lowered himself, bringing us closer as he dropped his face into my neck. He made a deep, guttural, growling sound into my skin. The vibration of it shattered through me. Nothing would ever live up to the sheer intensity of him. Not ever. He licked and sucked at my neck, then caught my chin in his fingers as he brought his eyes to mine.
“I never imagined I’d find someone like you,” he rasped, a flicker of sadness in his eyes. It gave me pause, but then his body shuddered as he came, his muscles straining from the pleasure. This was only our first time, and already I was lost, falling so deep I’d never, ever recover.
Noah Dylan would be my undoing.
22.
I woke up with warm arms around me. Noah breathed softly, still fast asleep as I turned to face him. His dark lashes cast shadows over his face, but those shadows didn’t seem so mysterious anymore. Now I saw some of the truth behind them.
And I loved that truth, even if it was stark and frightening.
He seemed so much younger asleep. I couldn’t see the demons in his eyes, nor the past that haunted him. I only saw the man who laid claim to me, body and soul.
I trailed my fingers over the planes of his cheeks, the curve of his chin, marvelling at his beauty. It was a small consolation prize, considering all he’d been through. I lifted one of his hands, running my thumb across the knuckles, noticing a small scar. I hadn’t looked closely enough at his hands before to see it, but the thin, silvery, jagged line shimmered in the morning light.