Beyond the Sea

“It was okay,” I answered, an awkward edge to my words.

“And Noah came to collect you?” she went on, her tone deceptively casual.

“Yes.”

Her eyes narrowed the tiniest bit. “I thought I warned you about spending time with my brother.”

I bristled, trying to keep my tone even. “I didn’t ask him to come. He just showed up.”

“Well, if he shows up again, you can politely decline.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so,” she clipped.

I frowned at my bowl, frustrated.

Vee let out a heavy sigh, her tone softening a tiny bit. “Look, Noah is … a complicated person with a complicated history. I haven’t seen him in a very long time. I have no idea how much he’s changed in the last ten years. It might not be safe for you to be around him.”

Wait a second, was she telling me to stay away from him because she worried for me? The thought felt surreal. Vee rarely displayed maternal concern on my behalf, if ever.

“Well,” I said, dipping the bread I just buttered into my bowl and wondering what exactly she meant by a complicated history. “He can’t have changed that much.”

“You don’t know what he’s been through.”

“According to you, you don’t either.”

“I know more than you,” Vee argued abruptly, and I decided to back off. I could be argumentative when the mood took me, but I needed to remember that fighting with Vee was a bad idea. My place under her roof was tentative to say the least, and since I was eighteen and technically now an adult, she could kick me out of here before I received my inheritance and had the means to take care of myself.

“Have you ever heard the story of Phineas Gage?” Vee asked then, drawing my attention back to her.

Phineas who? I shook my head.

“He was an American railroad worker in the 1800s who had an iron rod accidentally driven through his skull.” She tapped a spot on her forehead, and I grimaced. “Miraculously, he survived, but he suffered a severely traumatic brain injury. His frontal lobe was destroyed. Before the accident, many of Phineas’ friends described him as a hardworking, kind-natured man. However, after the accident his personality changed completely. He was quick to anger, surly and unpredictable. The damage to his brain caused an almost total change in his character.”

I frowned. “That’s an interesting story, but I’m not sure of your point.”

Vee exhaled impatiently, like I was going out of my way to be dim. “Noah is my brother, and for that reason I will always love him, but he has had one too many knocks to the skull over the years, especially while he was a teenager. He isn’t the same sweet little boy I used to play with. In fact, he is quick to anger, surly and unpredictable.” She sent me a pointed look and my stomach twisted when she continued under her breath. “Lord knows he has a lot to be angry about.”

What did she mean by one too many knocks to the skull? Had someone beaten him? A shiver ran down my spine as I thought about it. Hadn’t most of history’s infamous killers and psychopaths acted how they did because there was something wrong with their brains?

I stared at her, a frown marring my lips. “If he’s so unpredictable then why are you allowing him to stay at the house?”

Vee stilled, and I was certain I saw a flicker of shame in her eyes. “Because I wasn’t there for him at a time when he needed me most.” A pause as she cleared her throat. “I won’t abandon him again.”

“When did you—”

“Eat your dinner and be quiet, Estella. I’ve had enough of your back talk for one evening,” she snipped, cutting me off.

Back talk? I was only asking questions. And she was the one who initiated the conversation. Sometimes I truly didn’t understand my stepmother. Every once in a while, I saw glimpses of kindness in her, but they were quickly eradicated by a venomous outburst or cruel insult. Maybe Vee had experienced a few knocks to the skull herself. After all, if there was one thing you could say about her, it was that she had a fascinating psyche. I was often dumbfounded to explain why she acted how she did.

I focused on my meal, and we ate in silence. Vee’s stew was tasty, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Noah. What had happened to him? Was it something awful? And was that why he gave me such strange, mixed up feelings when I was around him? I really wanted to know why Vee thought she’d abandoned him. I wanted to know the full story, but she was rarely in a sharing mood. Our conversation just now was probably the most we’d ever spoken to one another without her berating me or ordering me around.