At the first hint of guilt his mind rejected the thought of any remorse. Push. Pull. Shove. Tug. His conscience jerked between the right and wrong of it, never able to discern which was which. What was happening to him? Unbalanced thoughts rocked through his mind with dizzying force.
Just a kiss. He’d only wanted to give her a kiss.
But as his cells thrived, already regenerating faster than they could with the help of any animal’s blood, he celebrated a sense of entitlement, knowing full well he’d feed from her again. For only a mate’s blood could satisfy him so purely. They were born of the same atoms, split by the heavens and separated until now, always meant to come together as one, again and again, like stars anchored to the same path of one giant universe. It was only a matter of time before worlds would collide.
He shook his head and stumbled away from the bed. This wasn’t him. He wasn’t an animal. And she wasn’t merely a source of food. She was his mate. He should worship at her feet, not steal from her altar.
His head spun as the coming dawn seeped through the windows, crowding him deeper into the shadows. One sip was not enough to complete the bond, but it would be enough to link them. He needed to leave now. And there was no undoing the thing he’d done.
As he let himself out of her apartment, he considered the very strange instinct to place a stranger’s comfort and survival before his own. Tonight, he took something she hadn’t offered, and it gutted him.
He only wanted what she gave freely. She was a gift, not a consequence. He’d made a mistake feeding from her. He’d gone too many hours without subduing his hunger. He should have never come to her in such a state. He’d be more careful in the future.
Such a small betrayal of trust cut deep without her even knowing what he’d done. He knew then that he’d let himself die before ever truly betraying her.
And there was the crux. He couldn’t bear to deceive her. She was his mate, yes, but she’d only be his salvation if she chose to be.
She had to choose him. He would not make the choice for her.
Chapter Twelve
Annalise jolted awake with a gasp and winced as her muscles objected. Feeling as if she’d been swimming under water, searching for a hole in the surface, her heart raced with confusion.
Another dream? No, not a dream.
She scanned the familiar surroundings of her bedroom and collapsed. Shutting her eyes, she caught her breath then frowned.
Vivid images rushed through her mind. Thriving, panting, undulating... What was she doing in her sleep? It wasn’t normal to wake up just as tired as she’d been when she went to bed.
She glanced at the glass of water on her nightstand, parched, but too lethargic to reach for it. Maybe she was sick. She should go in for a checkup.
She chuckled. Not likely. With her schedule she could hardly find time to dress herself. Speaking of...
Groaning, she dragged her cell phone off the table and squinted at the screen. Why was she so sore?
As she waited for her brain to wake up, she checked her social media. Ugh. This once barrier between reality and fantasy had reached its limit. Why did she keep her account? Seeing everyone else’s fake perfection only added to her sense of inadequacy.
She dropped her phone to the pillows. “Time to get up.”
Maybe she needed sex. That would explain this pressing sense of emptiness and all the erotic dreams. But the thought of sex with Kyle still made her feel uncomfortable. She could try it, but she already knew they weren’t a perfect fit.
Was perfect still a thing?
Her mind flashed to the man from last night. Adam. Now, he’d be something to see. Her eyes closed as she tried to picture his body unclothed. Sculpted shoulders and thickly muscled arms. That would be a shoe she’d like to try on.
Again, she frowned. There was something so familiar about him. But she was certain she’d never met him before.
Her mind was so sluggish lately who knew whose paths she crossed? Hopefully, once finals were over, she’d be less preoccupied and out of this fog.
Lurching into the kitchen, she opened the fridge. Only a carton of old Chinese food and a quart of expired milk waited inside. Her stomach rumbled.
Grabbing the Chinese food and a fork, she leaned against the cabinet and shoveled a few bits into her mouth. Her legs were inexplicably weak. She chugged another glass of water and went to shower.
She seriously needed to cut out sugar or change her laundry detergent. Something was obviously making her ... off, but she had no idea what.
Between school and the bar, her life wasn’t that interesting. She’d been studying too much to watch any TV, yet her dreams of late had been incredibly vivid. It was as if the universe were trying to tell her something.