“Always.”
“And you can’t ghost out of our friendship, no matter how much you might want to. I know I’m frustrating, but I need to know that you won’t just abandon me without warning. Before anything else, we’re friends. That can’t change.”
“Deal. And for the record, I would never ghost you. You know where I live.”
“I do, but…” Maybe this wouldn’t be so weird if they took things super slow. Dating was basically friends with…
And just like that, a wall went up and she stumbled into a world of doubt.
“Get it out,” he said softly. “We might as well put everything on the table from the start.”
Being anything more than friends would eventually require more than friendship. She’d never shared such intimacies with anyone but Nash. Her mind couldn’t go there yet. Or ever.
“Maggie, where’d you go? You just stopped talking.”
She should warn him she had major limits, things she wasn’t sure she had the strength or the urge to work through. Her head was a minefield of uncertainty. “As far as…” She waved a hand between them, but couldn’t bring herself to say it.
“Coffee? Food? Flamboyant hand gestures?”
“Sex,” she hissed.
He grinned. “I knew what you meant. I just wanted to hear you say it.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Well, as far as that goes, I’m not sure I’ll ever get there.” It wasn’t a stipulation that necessarily included him, just a confession amongst friends—one she thought he should hear.
He looked like he wanted to argue, but he kept his mouth shut.
“Told you I couldn’t be what you—”
“Oh, I’m still interested.”
“What? How?”
He chuckled. “Easily. And, to be clear, I’m very interested. But I have one rule.”
“What’s the rule?” She had a lot of hard limits, even in her easiest relationships, which was a big reason why dating seemed too complicated to comprehend.
“No matter what we are, we’re always totally honest with each other. I’m okay with approaching this differently, because you’re different and I like that about you. But I’m not a mind reader, so I need you to tell me what’s going on with you if something comes up. And I want you to keep an open mind. No ruling things out until we get there.”
“That’s two rules.”
He shrugged. “They’re important.”
She let out another long breath. “Okay.”
His face came to life as a smile stretched his cheeks. He lifted her hand and kissed the tips of her fingers.
“I knew I’d wear you down.”
“You’re not wearing me down. You just got me to agree I’d keep an open mind. I still think you’re a pain in the ass.”
“Whatever. It’s progress.” They walked home and he didn’t release her hand until they reached her house.
Chapter 15
“You’re smiling.”
Maggie’s thoughts scattered as Alec lowered into his chair. “Huh? Oh.” She supposed she had been grinning, though she hadn’t realized. “Sorry.”
“Please, don’t apologize. It’s nice to see you happy.” He collected his leather notebook and settled in across from her. “How are things?”
For the past three weeks she’d been sleeping better, eating more, drinking less, and laughing a lot. “Things are … good.”
“Do labels like good or happy worry you?”
“No,” she quickly answered. That would be crazy. But the more she thought about it… Her lips twisted and she sighed. “Maybe.”
His eyes creased at the corners as if he appreciated her candid honesty. “What, exactly, do you find worrisome about those adjectives?”
She shrugged. “Life never stays comfortable for long. Things change.”
“And you want to be prepared for that change?”
“It’s inevitable, so yeah.”
He nodded, as if he agreed, which sort of felt like a setup, because then he asked, “But why borrow trouble? Why not just embrace this comfortable stage and enjoy it while it lasts?”
“It’s my nature to prepare for the worst.”
He cocked his head. “Based on the stories you’ve told me about your past, I’m not sure that’s always been true.”
“I was young. Young people are inherently naïve.” Before becoming a widow, she’d been blissfully trusting that life was fair, and the world was a safe place.
He offered a charming smile. “I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I have it on great authority that you’re still considered young. But I wouldn’t dare to call you naïve. In fact, your life experiences have taught you lessons most people don’t learn until their golden years. I find your perspective on life both informed and tempered.”
“Thanks?”
“Just my personal observation. Which is why I’m intrigued by your reluctance to accept happiness when it enters your life again.”
“I’m not reluctant. I just know it’s temporary.”
“One could argue that everything’s temporary, including life.”
“Exactly.”
He raised a brow. “And knowing our time here is limited and growing shorter every day, you draw some sense of security from reminding yourself of this?”
“No, but I don’t want to be blindsided. When Nash died, my entire world turned upside down.”
“And, had you known Nash’s time was running out, would you have been more prepared?”