“I care about you,” he rasped in a strangled whisper.
But there was nothing more to say. Holding her shoes, she left his room and didn’t stop until she was safely inside of her kitchen.
Her weight sank into the wood of her back door, as she let out a gut-wrenching sob. Her hand slid down the surface until her fingers tripped over the deadbolt. She locked the door, terrified if she let down her guard again, the world would break-in and crush the last of her soul.
Chapter 21
“You want another beer?”
Ryan only half heard Luke as he stared at the television. His head had been so far up his ass all day, he could hardly recall which game they were watching.
When his cousin’s words sank in, he lifted his beer, finding it warm and barely touched. “No, I’m good.”
Luke disappeared up the stairs to the kitchen, and Tristan’s eyes narrowed on him. “You want us to go?”
“What? No.” He checked the score. “The first period’s not even over.”
“I’m surprised you could tell we’re watching hockey. You’re barely watching the screen.”
The room wasn’t near completed, but he’d bought a flat screen and moved the futon downstairs. He’d been going crazy over the last couple of weeks trying not to think about Maggie and failing terribly.
They ended before they even started, and every day that passed without hearing her voice or seeing her face felt like an excruciating lifetime apart. With her, the emptiness inside him seemed less gaping. Without her, he was falling apart. Never before had he suffered such a reaction to one specific female.
“Sorry. My head’s on other things.”
Tristan made a face that said he got that. “Want to talk about it?”
Of course he wanted to talk about it. He wanted to flip out and throw things. He wanted to demand answers and a second chance. Christ, he even wanted to beg. But at the same time, he wanted to tell the world to fuck off and leave him alone.
“No.”
Luke returned and they watched the game, only speaking when something needed to be yelled at the television set.
“You should get a foosball table down here,” Luke said during a commercial. His cousin had always been an athlete, so he had an abundance of energy to burn. Even a thirty second commercial could make him antsy.
“Maybe.”
Luke studied him for a moment and sipped his beer. “Kelly said you’re seeing someone.”
Figures. Nothing ever stayed secret for long in their family. “Your brother doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
“So, you’re not seeing anyone?”
“Nope.” He finished his tepid beer and stood. “Single as always.”
“Were you?” Tristan asked and Ryan’s shoulders stiffened.
He climbed the steps. “Doesn’t matter. I’m not now.”
In the kitchen, he jerked open the fridge and yanked a beer from the shelf. Twisting off the cap, he flung it in the general direction of the trashcan and glared out the window.
She planted flowers. Or old flowers were starting to bloom again. They were the tall yellow ones. Daffodils, he thought.
He glanced at her gutters. They were overflowing with sticks and leaves. He’d planned on surprising her by cleaning them out, even though he’d won the bet and beaten her at darts. Now he wasn’t touching them.
He scowled at her shed where she parked her bike. What did she do in that house all weekend? Didn’t she get bored? Lonely? Not his problem.
When he returned to the basement, Luke and Tristan stopped whispering about whatever they’d been discussing. The game continued in monotone plays.
“Next week’s the Main Street Burger Festival,” Tristan said.
Ryan lifted a brow. “And?”
He shrugged. “You like burgers. You should go.”
He’d probably stop by but didn’t see the need to make a plan of it.
“Luke, isn’t that girl from the gym competing?”
“Yeah, she’s making some vegan jalapeno concoction. Claims it could convert the biggest carnivore.”
“Doubtful,” Ryan sneered. Why were vegans always in competition with other diets?
“You got a problem with vegans?” Luke asked.
“No. I couldn’t care less what other people eat. But if I go to a burger festival, you bet your ass I’m eating beef.”
“Aren’t you a little curious?” Tristan asked.
“About veggie burgers? Hell no!” Ryan frowned and then it clicked. “Let me guess, the vegan’s single.”
“I don’t know, is she Luke?”
Ryan rolled his eyes. This was so rehearsed.
“Her and her boyfriend broke up last month.” Luke lifted his brows. “She’s probably ready for a rebound.”
“No thanks.”
“Are you honestly saying you’d turn down the chance to get laid?” Luke asked.
He was about to say yes, when he thought about the lonesome reality of his life. “A girl just out of a relationship isn’t going to amount to anything meaningful. Like you said, she’s probably just looking for a rebound.”
Luke scoffed. “So? Are you so flush with pussy you’re willing to turn a rebound fuck away?”
“God, I hate when you get crude,” Tristan grumbled. “She’s a woman, not pussy.”