“A used-car lot,” I said. “I’m sorry, Ig.”
“It’s my fault, guys,” said Fang. “I thought I’d cracked the code, but obviously I was totally off my gourd.”
“Well, if you were wrong,” Nudge said, “then we don’t have to be disappointed, right? It just means we still don’t know.”
“Yeah, that’s right, Nudge,” I said, thankful that she was taking it so well.
“This sucks!” Iggy shouted suddenly, his voice echoing off the glass storefronts. He punched a telephone pole in front of him, hitting it accurately. He winced, and I saw the scraped skin and bloody knuckles.
“I’m sorry, Ig—,” I began.
“I don’t care if you’re sorry!” Iggy shouted at me. “Everyone’s sorry! That doesn’t matter! What matters is that we find where we belong!” He walked angrily away from us, his boots kicking up stones in the parking lot. “I mean, I just can’t take this anymore!” he yelled, waving his arms and heading back to us. “I need some answers! We can’t just keep on wandering from place to place, always on the run, always hunted. . . .” His voice broke, and we all looked at him in shock. Iggy hardly ever cried.
I went over and tried to put my arms around him, but he pushed me away.
“We all want answers, Iggy,” I said. “We all feel lost sometimes. It’s just—we have to stick together. We won’t stop looking for your parents, I swear.”
“It’s different for you,” Iggy said, his voice quieter but bitter. “You don’t know what it’s like. Yeah, I make jokes, I’m the blind kid—but don’t you see? Every time we move on, I’m lost all over again. You guys—it’s so much easier for you. Even your lost isn’t as bad as my lost, you know?”
I’d never heard Iggy admit to feeling scared or vulnerable.
“We’re your eyes, Iggy,” said the Gasman, sounding small and anxious. “You don’t need to see when you’ve got us.”
“Yeah, but I won’t always have you!” Iggy said, his voice rising till he was shouting again. “What happens if you get killed? Of course I need to see, you idiot! I remember seeing! I know what it’s like! I don’t have it anymore, and I won’t ever have it again. And someday I’m going to lose you, lose all of you—and when that happens, I’ll lose . . . myself.”
His face was contorted with rage, and he swept one hand down and picked up a chunk of asphalt. Whirling, he threw it hard against a storefront, where it shattered a big plate-glass window. Immediately alarms went off.
“Uh-oh,” Iggy muttered.
“Let’s split,” Fang said. Angel, the Gasman, and Nudge took off. Total jumped up into my arms, and I zipped him into my jacket.
“No,” said Iggy, and I skidded to a halt.
“What? Come on, Iggy,” I said. “The alarm’s going off.”
“I know. I’m not deaf too,” Iggy said bitterly. “I don’t care. Let them find me, take me now. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.”
And, to my horror, he sat down on the curb. I heard police car sirens wailing toward us.
“Iggy, let’s go, get up,” Fang said.
“Give me one good reason,” Iggy said, dropping his head into his hands.
I tossed Total to Fang, and the dog yipped, startled, as Fang grabbed him. “You guys go,” I ordered.
Fang took off, but the flock stayed nearby, hovering. The police sirens were getting closer.
I leaned down. “Listen, Iggy,” I said tensely. “I’m sorry about tonight. I know how disappointed you are. We’re all disappointed. And I’m sorry you’re blind. I remember when you weren’t, and I can’t even imagine what it’s like to lose that. I’m sorry we’re mutant bird kids, I’m sorry we don’t have parents, I’m sorry we have Erasers and people trying to kill us all the time.
“But if you think I’m going to let you give up on us now, you’ve got another think coming. Yes, you’re
a blind mutant freak, but you’re my blind mutant freak, and you’re coming with me, now, you’re coming with us right now, or I swear I will kick your skinny white ass from here to the middle of next week.”
Iggy raised his head. Flashes of light told me the cops were almost on top of us.
“Iggy, I need you,” I said urgently. “I love you. I need all of you, all five of you, to feel whole myself. Now get up, before I kill you.”
Iggy stood. “Well, when you put it that way . . .”