“Jeb, okay,” I said, my temper flaring. “He’s a lying, two-faced weasel. But my mom’s good. She’s always been good to us, and now you’re just selling her out?”
“But… your mom trusts Jeb,” said Gazzy. “Even after you thought he had betrayed you and us and cut off all ties with him, your mom stayed in touch with him.”
That had really ticked me off, but I figured she’d had her reasons. Like maybe she thought weasels were really cute. Or could be trained to do circus tricks.
“Something else,” Dylan said, sounding reluctant. “Dr. Martinez is incredible. She’s helped us all and even welcomed me into her home. But she also let Jeb bring Dr. Hans here without warning anyone, even after what you told her about him. Even after he almost killed Fang. She let him come here. Didn’t that bother you at all?”
I spun around to look at him. “Oh, now everyone wants to jump on the traitor train to jerkville. You’ve been here for what? Two seconds?! This is my mom we’re talking about!”
He put a hand on my shoulder, and I stiffened. I opened my mouth to continue defending my mom, who is, as I’ve pointed out, the only mom I’m ever likely to have. But despite my little outburst, a tiny seed of doubt had taken root in me. Dylan’s instincts were usually pretty spot-on. And he always had my back, except for the whole leaving-Ella-behind-in-a-sea-of-cult-freaks thing.
I looked up and expected to find hurt or anger on his face, but he just looked sorry. And like he really cared about me. And then that rarest of rare things happened: I felt bad.
Then I looked at the concerned faces of my flock. So many times in the past, I’d ignored what they’d said and charged ahead, my mind made up about how it was going to be. But they weren’t saying this stuff just to mess with me or to make me feel bad. I shut my mouth abruptly and sat down.
“Wasn’t it your mom who convinced us all to go see the Gen 77 kids that morning?” Angel asked gently. “You didn’t want to go, and we were all on your side. But your mom said she’d like to go, and that’s why all of us got in Jeb’s plane. Which is why we almost died.”
I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach really hard. Everything in me wanted to tell them they were wrong, they were crazy. But the truth was that, as much as I loved my mom, and as much as I trusted her, I’d still known her for just a few years, and she was a grown-up. We didn’t have such a great track record with adults in general or with scientists in particular. Even though it really, really hurt, I trusted the flock with my heart, with my gut.
I had to think this one through and not go charging off.
Maybe I really am getting older and perhaps a tiny bit wiser.
“But my mom and Jeb got on the plane too,” I pointed out half heartedly.
Dylan said, “Maybe they figured that with all of us there, you and me and the rest of the flock, there was no way we’d let them die. If the accident was planned, and Hans somehow escaped out the front of the plane before it hit the ground, maybe they knew that we would come through for them somehow.”
I tried taking some slow, deep breaths. I didn’t, couldn’t, believe that my mom would really put us on a plane she thought would crash. But they were right—something was sketchy. My stomach was in knots. My chest hurt.
“Maybe Jeb kidnapped my mom?” I suggested hopefully.
“She does love you, Max,” Angel said, crossing over to me. “She absolutely does. I can feel it. But everyone involved with the Doomsday Group seems to put the situation above the people, you know? Like, the end of the world is bigger than who loves who or who wants to be with whomever. Maybe she—maybe they’re all still convinced that they’re acting for the greater good.”
“Argh,” I said, covering my eyes with my hands, the blank faces of the Doomsday zombies flashing before me. “There’s nothing more dangerous than someone trying to act for the greater good.” I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I looked at the floor,
at my feet, anywhere but at the caring faces of my flock. I wanted to crawl into a little hole and not have to deal with any of this.
Then, with my next breath, I got angry again. This was my fault. This was what I got for trusting people, for letting them in. My mom was my weak spot, and I had been stupid! Naive! What had I been thinking?
I stood up, my face determined. “Maybe you guys are right. I hope we’re all wrong. But until we know that, until I can really believe that, we need to close ranks right now, to protect ourselves.”
“What do you mean, Max?” Nudge asked.
“I mean we should make a pact, today. A pact that from now on, no matter what, we will never again trust a grown-up.”
Nudge’s eyes got big, and even Dylan looked surprised.
I held out my fist. One by one, they each made fists and stacked them on top of mine. Then Total pushed a paw up under my hand. I tapped Iggy’s hand twice, he tapped Gazzy’s, and so on, until we had all agreed. And that was that.
This had been quite the year for heartbreak and disillusionment.
42
“OKAY, NO GROWN-UPS,” Gazzy said. “What now?”
“Ella,” I said. “She’s not a grown-up. If she’s in on everything, we need to pump her for information. If she’s innocent, we need to save her.”
“Of course she’s innocent!” Iggy said, and I remembered how he’d been cuddling up to her like a puppy dog these last couple weeks. I looked at him apologetically.