FANG FOLLOWS MY gaze across the rocky slope to watch our girl playing with her flock family, and his face softens. It seems crazy that she’s already almost five now—almost as old as Angel was when she was first kidnapped by Erasers, what seems like several lifetimes ago.
The whole flock is helping to raise her, with Total insisting on French lessons and Nudge making sure she doesn’t look like a cave girl (even though we pretty much live in caves). But it’s only Fang who spends as much time with her as I do, Fang who patiently teaches the fascinating facts his photographic brain remembers from all those fat books I shunned in school. Fang, because he’s her father.
“Watch!” she yells when she sees us looking her way. “Mama, watch me!” Her light brown eyes widen as she tears down the hill on long, gangly legs.
It’s always surprising to see those eyes looking back at me. They narrow at the first sign of danger, and confidently hold my gaze when she knows she’s right. When I tell her “No,” they are defiant, and when I cuddle her, they melt like honey. They take in everything, all the time.
They’re my eyes.
She looks like Fang in almost every other way. When she takes off after Star’s blur of speed, her wings trail behind her, the same color as her silky hair—a deep blue-black. Just before she crashes into Harry, he flings her a few dozen feet up in the air. Kate and Harry toss her between them, back and forth, and her wing muscles slide along her back and make her wings flutter. They’re still growing, but her primary feathers are all in now, and strong.
When she lands, her mouth twists into a familiar lopsided smirk, asking the same question it always does: Is it time yet, Mama?
I turn to the love of my life. My first love, and my last love. The love I accepted a dear friend’s sacrifice for. “Do you think…?”
Fang nods before I finish the question.
“You don’t think we’re rushing it?”
“It’s time.” He grins good-naturedly. “Like I’ve been saying for a week.”
“Phoenix!” I shout across the hilltop. “Ready for a lesson?”
Her face is maniacal with glee as she races Gazzy—now a tall, lanky fourteen-year-old—back up the slope.
When she was born, the name seemed to suit her—my little Phoenix, helping us all rise from the ashes. She’s Fifi to Total and Nudge, Ninja Nix to the boys. But I’ll let her pick her own name when she’s ready, of course.
Just as I once chose Maximum Ride.
Three
“TAKE YOUR CUES from the wind, watch for smaller birds in your path,” I repeat for the hundredth time. “And absolutely no dive-bombs without me!”
“Never, ever,” Phoenix repeats, and then proceeds to walk on her hands near the rocky edge. Gazzy cackles and tumbles forward, matching her trick for trick. While the rest of the flock hoots and hollers, cheering them on, naturally, I’m over here inventing new swear words and trying not to swallow my bottom lip.
Can you tell I’m way more nervous about my girl’s first flight than she is?
“Would you relax?” Iggy scolds me. “Did you forget how easy flying is? Besides, the kid’s got invincible DNA, so this should be no biggie. Ooof!” he groans as I elbow him in the ribs.
Next to me, Fang chuckles as he watches his daughter give poor, protesting Total a very undignified belly rub. It’s hard to remember that there was once a Fang who rarely laughed or smiled. Tiny Phoenix has completely changed him. She’s changed all of us.
My fear grows as she picks her way to the edge of the cliff and looks down. I know she’s tough. I make sure she gets up again every time she falls down, and I tell her she can do anything.
Even when life throws you a flaming curveball almost big enough to kick the earth out of orbit. Learn how to do what’s right, because it takes a lot more guts.
If there’s one thing my baby’s got, it’s guts.
The flock crowds around Phoenix before the group flight, giving pointers.
“Think about using all your senses at once,” Ratchet says. “Remember what I taught you, baby girl—be the ninja.”
“Flap as fast as you can, little Fifi,” Total warns. “It’s important to gain altitude fast when your wings are so small.”
“But don’t think about anything!” Nudge chimes in. “That’ll ruin it.”
Phoenix nods solemnly, eyes wide. You can see her mentally calculating as her eyes flit from face to face.
We face the sprawled green landscape of the rain forest. The sun is a huge eye hanging in front of us, warming our skin. The sky is endless.