“And I love you, Alex Cross. That’s the best I can do.”
She had to have the final word.
After I finished with Nana and the kids, I lay in the dark on the unmade, unwelcoming hotel bed. I didn’t want maids or anyone else in the room, but the Do Not Disturb tag hadn’t deterred the FBI.
A bottle of beer sat upright on my chest. I slowed my breathing, let the bottle balance there. I’ve never liked hotel rooms, not even on a vacation.
I started thinking about Naomi again. When she was a little girl like Jannie, she used to ride up on my shoulders, so she could see “far, far away in the Big People’s World.” I remembered that Naomi thought Christmas was “Kissmass,” so she would kiss everybody during the holidays.
Finally, I let my mind settle on the monster who had taken Scootchie away from us. The monster was winning so far. He seemed invincible, uncatchable; he didn’t make any mistakes, and didn’t leave any clues. He was very sure of himself…. he even left me a cute little postcard for sport. What should that tell me?
He might have read my book about Gary Soneji, I thought. He just might have read my book. Had he taken Naomi to challenge me? Maybe to prove how good he was.
I didn’t like that thought very much.
CHAPTER 33
I’M ALIVE, but I’m in hell!
Kate McTiernan tucked her legs close against her chest and shivered. She was certain that she’d been drugged. Severe tremors, accompanied by gnawing nausea, swept over her in powerful waves that would not stop no matter what she tried.
She didn’t know how long she had been asleep on the cold floor, or what time it was now. Was he watching her? Was there a peephole hidden in the walls? Kate could almost feel his eyes crawling all over her.
She remembered every gruesome and hideous detail of the rape. The feel of it was so vivid. The thought of being touched by him was repulsive, and the most horrifying images snapped at her.
Anger, guilt, violation all fused in her mind. Adrenaline surged powerfully through her body. “Hail Mary, full of grace… the Lord is with thee.” She thought she had forgotten how to pray. She hoped that God hadn’t forgotten her.
Kate’s head was spinning. He was definitely trying to break her will, break her resistance. That was his plan, wasn’t it?
She had to think, make herself think. Everything in the room was out of focus. The drugs! Kate tried to figure what he might be using. What drug? Which one?…
Perhaps it was Forane, a strong muscle relaxant that was used prior to anesthesia. It came in a one-hundred-milliliter bottle. It could be sprayed directly into a victim’s face, or poured over a cloth and held to someone’s face. She tried to remember the drug’s aftereffects. Shivering and nausea. Dry throat. Decrease in intellectual functioning for a day or two. She had those symptoms! All of them!
He’s a doctor! The thought struck her like a low punch. It made perfect sense to her. Who else would have access to a drug like Forane?
At the dojo in Chapel Hill, a discipline was taught to help students control their emotions. You had to sit in front of a blank dojo wall, and remain sitting no matter how much you wanted, or thought you needed, to move.
Kate’s body was drenched with perspiration, but she was determined. She would never let him break her will. She could be unbelievably strong when she needed to be. That was how she’d gotten through medical school on no money and against all odds.
She sat in a lotus position for more than an hour in “her prison room.” She breathed quietly and concentrated on clearing her mind of the pain, the nausea, and the rape. She focused on what she had to do next.
One simple concept.
Escape.
CHAPTER 34
KATE ROSE slowly to her feet after the hour of meditation. She was still woozy, but she felt a little better, more in control. She decided to search for his peephole. It had to be there, hidden somewhere in the natural wood walls.
The bedroom was exactly twelve by fifteen. She’d measured it several times. In a tiny alcove the size of a closet, there was the equivalent of an outhouse.
Kate carefully looked for even the tiniest slit in the wall, but she saw nothing. The toilet in the alcove seemed to empty directly into the ground. There was no plumbing, at least not in this part of the building. Where am I being kept? Where am I?
Her eyes watered from the acrid odor as she knelt over the black wooden seat and squinted into the dark hole. She had learned to put up with the overpowering smell, and only a single dry heave came this time.
The opening looked as if it dropped about ten or twelve feet. Dropped to what? Kate wondered.
It looked very narrow, and she didn’t think she could squeeze through it, not even if she took off all her clothes. Maybe she could, though. Never say never.