“I can’t completely blame Christine,” I said. As much as I didn’t want to, I could see her side of things.
“Well, I do. She left that sweet little baby and went to Seattle. She didn’t have to go that far away. Her decision. Now she has to live with it.”
I glanced over at Nana. Her face was screwed tight. “I don’t know if that would be considered an enlightened point of view these days.”
Nana waved away what I’d said. “I don’t think these days are all that enlightened. You know I believe in women’s rights, mothers’ rights, all of that, but I also believe you have to be held responsible for your actions. Christine walked away from that little boy. She walked away from her responsibility.”
“You through?” I asked.
Nana had her arms folded tightly across her chest. “I am. And it felt good, real good. You ought to try it sometime. Vent, Alex. Lose control. Let it out.”
I finally had to laugh. “I had the radio blasting all the way home from work, and I was yelling half the time. I’m more upset than you are, Nana.”
For once—and I don’t ever remember this happening before—she actually let me have the last word.
Chapter 71
JAMILLA CALLED THAT NIGHT around eleven o’clock—eight o’clock her time. I hadn’t spoken to her for a few days, and to be truthful, now wasn’t the best time. Christine’s visit to D.C. and the meeting with her lawyer had me tense and messed up. Shook. I tried not to show it, but that was wrong too.
“You never write, you never call,” Jamilla said, and laughed in her usual loose and engaging way. “Don’t tell me you’re already wrapped up in a case for the Bureau? You are, aren’t you?”
“A big nasty one, yeah. I’m sort of in and out of it,” I told Jam, then quickly explained what was happening, and what wasn’t, at the Hoover Building, including my mixed emotions about being with the Bureau—all the stuff in my life that didn’t really matter right now.
“You’re the new guy on the block,” she said. “Give it some time.”
“I’m trying to be patient. It’s just that I’m not used to this wasted motion, the wasted resources.”
I heard her laugh. “That, and you’re used to being the center of attention, don’t you think? You’ve been a star, Alex.”
I smiled. “You’re right, you’re right. That’s part of it.”
“You saw the Bureau from the other side of the fence. You knew what you were getting yourself into. Didn’t you know?”
“I guess I should have, sure. But I listened to a lot of promises that were made when I signed up.”
Jamilla sighed. “I know, I’m not being very sympathetic, empathetic, whatever. One of my faults.”
“No, it’s me.”
“Yeah.” She laughed again. “It is. I never heard you so down and out. Let’s see what we can do to bring you up.”
We talked about the case she was working on, then Jamilla asked about each of the kids. She was interested as always. But I was in a sour mood, and I couldn’t shake it. I wondered if she could tell, and then I got my answer.
“Well,” Jam said, “I just wanted to see how you were. Call if you have any news. I’m always here for you. I miss you, Alex.”
“I miss you too,” I said.
Then Jamilla broke the connection with a soft “Bye.”
I sat there shaking my head back and forth. Shit. What an ass I was sometimes. I was blaming Jamilla for what had happened with Christine, wasn’t I? How dumb was that?
Chapter 72
“HI THERE. I missed you,” I said, and smiled. “And I’m sorry.”
Five minutes after Jamilla hung up, I called her back to try and make amends.
“You should be sorry, you poop. Glad to see your famous antennae are still working all right,” she said.