“He isn’t mad at you,” Dane said. “He’s mad at me.”
“That’s bullshit,” I shot back. “The last I remember, I was participating when you and I lost our virginity. In fact, it was my idea. If Aidan wants to be mad, he can be mad at both of us.” I flipped a cushion, my phone nowhere to be found. I hadn’t used it much in the past few days.
“It threw him for a loop,” Dane said. “When he calms down, it’ll be fine.”
“It isn’t fine if his stupidity sent you to the other side of the planet!” I cried. “My brother is mad, so you go to Japan? And no one called me? Why are men so insane?” I looked around. “And where the hell is my phone?”
“I’m not going to Japan.”
“Of course you are! It’s Okada, a huge amazing company run by a genius. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime. Of course you’re going! And I’m going to be left here to have a baby by myself!”
“Ava.” He strode into the room, next to me, and put his hands on my shoulders, turning me toward hi
m. “You’re not listening. I’m not going.”
I looked up at him. “You turned down Kaito Okada? When you like his air traffic control code so much? Dane, that’s crazy.” Then it occurred to me. “Oh God, it’s because of this baby, right? You turned Okada down because you feel bad.” I pulled out of his grip. “Let’s go do the test right now. If I’m not pregnant, you can call him back.”
“It doesn’t matter.” He followed me as I strode toward the bathroom. “Whatever the test says, I’m not changing my mind.”
I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes. Did pregnancy make you emotional, or was this just my heart breaking? “Then you’re insane. Don’t turn him down. If I’m not pregnant, you should go.”
“Ava.” He grasped my arm, turned me gently. I took a breath. I didn’t pull free. “I’m not fucking leaving,” he said. “Don’t you get that? I’m not fucking leaving. We knew what we were doing when we made this baby. I’m all in. And if you’re not pregnant, I’m still all in. If there’s no baby, I want to keep trying until you are. If that’s what you want, that is.”
Now the tears were stinging my eyes and my throat, and I felt them start to spill down my cheeks. I swallowed, trying to keep them back. “Don’t,” I said. “Please don’t. Don’t hold yourself back for me. I’m not the kind of girl you make sacrifices for, Dane.”
That was my mother talking. I knew that—I knew it. But it didn’t stop the words from slicing through my mind: He can do better than you. He shouldn’t give up anything for you. Because any man could do better than you.
Dane’s hand touched my cheek, cradled my jaw. He dipped his head and kissed the soft skin next to my ear as if he knew what I was thinking. Maybe he did. He knew me so fucking well.
“Having a baby with you isn’t holding me back,” he said softly. “It’s getting what I want. I wanted you eleven years ago, Ava, and I was too scared to say it. I wanted the baby we lost, even though we didn’t plan it. I wanted all of it with you.”
“Dane,” I said, my voice a sob.
“You’re my girl,” he said, as if this was obvious. “My first girl, my best girl. The woman I’ve always wanted but didn’t think I could have. I proposed to you in that restaurant because I wanted to marry you, Ava. It was a stupid move, but I didn’t do it because I felt obligated. I did it because I wanted to fucking marry you. It wasn’t the right time for us then, but it is now. I finally got you back after eleven years without you. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to.”
“Don’t you dare,” I said fiercely. “Don’t you dare go anywhere, Dane Scotland. If you’re mine, then you’re really mine. Swear it.”
“I swear,” he said.
I sniffed and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I loved him so much in that moment I didn’t think I could stand it. It felt too big, too terrifying. I didn’t think it was possible to love anyone the way I loved this gorgeous, sexy, grumpy, beautiful man.
“Okay,” I said to him. “I’m going to go pee on a stick.”
“I love you,” he said, because he could always read my mind.
“Stop making me cry.” I wiped more tears. “I have to concentrate.”
“You don’t have to concentrate to pee.”
“On a stick,” I corrected him. “I have to aim this time. And there are three different sticks, because I want to be sure. I have to keep them straight.”
“I’ll help you,” he said.
“You will not.” I waved a hand. “I’d like some privacy. Go code something for a few minutes.”
“Nice try. I’ll stand outside the door, but that’s as far as I go.”
We actually argued about that—about my pee—for five more minutes, but Dane won. He helped me sort the sticks, and then he stood outside the open door because I wouldn’t let him in. A girl has to keep some secrets.