“No,” he agreed. “That’s why when we leave here, we’re going to Vegas.”
“What for?”
“Why does anyone go to Vegas?” he replied. “To get married.”
My stomach dropped. “What?”
“Married,” Cavan said again, as if we were discussing the weather. “You and me. Legally wed. It’s the best solution.”
For a second I was so shocked I couldn’t speak; I just stared at him. “You’re insane,” I finally said.
“I’m not, actually.” The crease appeared in his forehead as he assessed my reaction. “It’s a means to an end, Dani. Don’t be alarmed.”
I pushed my plate away. I wasn’t hungry anymore. “And how exactly is it a means to an end?”
“If you’re my wife, McMurphy isn’t going to want you anymore,” Cavan said. “It’s all about possession with him. If he sees you as mine, then he’ll no longer see you as his.”
“That’s because I will be yours,” I said. “We’ll be married.”
That got me a ghost of a smile. “You know what year it is?” he said. “You won’t be anybody’s. We’ve established that. You don’t have to take my name, and you don’t have to live with me. Hell, at the moment I don’t even have anywhere to live.”
I sat back in my seat. I had the feeling this wasn’t the whole story. “And that’s it?” I asked him. “We just get married for McMurphy’s purposes? That’s all?”
His gray eyes flicked away from mine, then back again. “There’s more,” he said. “That guy last night. He could have gone after you, but he didn’t. He came after me.”
I didn’t like to think about that. It had been awful, waking up to the sound of bikes outside my door, Cavan gone. I’d fallen asleep so happy in his arms. “He saw you,” I said. “He didn’t come after me because he didn’t see me.”
“Dani, he knew where we were,” Cavan said. “He knew what room we were in. He came for me the minute I walked out the door. If he wanted you, he could have walked right in and got you.”
I swallowed, trying not to think of some strange biker walking in and yanking me naked out of bed. The fact that Cavan had been targeted didn’t make me feel any better, either. We were lucky it had been only a warning. I had come so close, so horribly fucking close, to losing him. “What are you getting at?” I asked.
He looked at me calmly, and then he dropped the bomb. “If anything happens to me, as my wife you get it all.”
Everything stopped.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” I said.
He didn’t flinch, just held my gaze with eyes gray as steel. “You think I’m kidding you, Dani?”
“I—” He was serious. He was actually serious. I scrubbed a hand over my face. “I don’t want your money.”
“Yeah?” Cavan said. “Well, I don’t want it either. But if I die, I want to know you have it. That you’re going to use it to get on a plane and get out of Dodge. Or hire lawyers to put McMurphy away. Or take some time and go to school. Whatever you want.” He leaned forward across the table. “Dani, think of it as an insurance policy. If the shit hits the fan, you can go to Devon. Show him your marriage certificate, and there’s no way he won’t take you in. I let him down ten years ago, but you never did. I know my brother. He wouldn’t let my wife stay in danger.”
“You asshole,” I said in a low voice, suddenly angry. “You’re talking about dying. About dying.”
He shook his head, his eyes hard. “It was always a possibility.”
He was right. Damn him, he was. McMurphy was fully capable of murder when he was this enraged; I knew it better than anyone. When I’d left with Cavan I hadn’t been thinking past the next hour, the next four hours, the next twelve hours—and neither had he. We’d been living by getting to the next rest stop, the next town—the next bed, at least on my part. Because beyond those things, it could all be over.
And he was still thinking that way. That we would try to make it further down the highway, but one of us might not get there. And the odds were, the person who might not get there was him.
That was true. All of it was technically right. But last night had happened, and I’d been to bed with him—in all the ways that mattered. I’d done things with him, felt things with him, that I’d never imagined I could have. I didn’t want to think only about the next hour anymore. I didn’t want to think about the fact that he might leave me. I was mixed up—I didn’t know what I wanted, but it wasn’t that.
Cavan reached across the table and took my hand. He gripped it in his, just hard enough to make me feel it. “Don’t be pissed at me, Dani,” he said, his voice low and intense. “Just tell me straight up what you’re thinking. Even if it’s to tell me to go fuck myself. We’ve come this far, but we can’t get any further if we’re fighting. It has to be you and me.”
I looked at him. Scruffy, tired, unromantic asshole—he was still so beautiful it hurt my eyes. His hand was warm on mine, his grip sure, his reach making his forearm flex. Behind him, waitresses served breakfast to tourists and truckers as the sun came up. For a moment, everything hung in the balance.
Him and me. Married.