“Just listen to yourself,” I said disgustedly. “How in the hell do you—”
“Before you ask the question, just know that I can, and I will if you disregard my wishes. I am able to make just about anything happen to suit my needs, and I won’t hesitate to follow through if you fail me.”
“So you’re just taking over my life to serve yourself?” I could hardly wrap my head around this conversation we were having right now.
“You’re thinking too hard, and I am weary of this conversation. I am expecting some forward movement on this issue by Thanksgiving. Your mother so looks forward to having her children home for the day.”
Yeah, and she is the only reason we come. “That’s only three weeks from now.”
He ignored my comment. “Bring your prospective bride around to meet us so we can get to know this new future daughter-in-law who will be mother to my future grandchildren.” The smile he gave looked a bit maniacal. “Children who will have been born to enjoy the honor and privilege of visiting their grandfather in the Oval Office someday.”
Please, God, don’t ever let that happen.
He then returned his attention to whatever document was in front of him and acted as if I wasn’t still in the room. My father was finished with me for the moment, and so I’d been effectively dismissed.
I didn’t remember leaving his office, but once I felt the warmth of the autumn sun seeping through the clouds as I stood among the foot traffic moving in both directions around me, I figured I’d made it out somehow.
I shouldn’t have felt chilled since the sun was out. But I was cold. Cold with fear and worry. Cold with the kind of winter fury that would take ages to melt away.
Winter fury.
Just . . . Winter.
From the moment my father had started dictating his sordid plans for me I knew who I wanted. There was only one person. The only girl it could ever be for me—even though it would be so wrong of me to bring her into the shitfuckery that was my life.
It would be wrong . . . but it would feel so right.
Because Winter Blackstone was my Kryptonite. This I knew. One small slip of indulging in my desires to be closer and there would be no turning back. With my father’s edict burning a hole in my heart, I was being handed a reason to go there with her.
But I can’t.
I was fucked, and I knew it. This was a huge problem. I knew myself, and I knew how hard the struggle would be in resisting the temptation of her. For me, the allure of Winter Blackstone was something with which I was well familiar. Her unaffected beauty, her kind and generous heart, her gentle way of listening and knowing just the right thing
to say in any situation, made her approachable and easy for people to love.
Love?
Did I love her?
Of course I did. I’d known her since she was a toddler, and she was a dear and trusted friend. But, if I was honest . . . Winter was much more than that for me and she had been for a long time. She possessed all of the qualities I could ever want in a wife. She couldn’t be more perfect for selling to the media along the lines of something like my father’s political campaign. YOUNG HEIRESS CHOOSES SOCIAL WORK OVER HIGH SOCIETY. The news agencies would eat her up and crown her their darling overnight.
You’re still fucked because she’s off-limits.
This was my truth. Because I could never be with Winter in the way I wanted to be. I could never have her. Not how I’d dreamed of having her when my innermost fantasies took over within my twisted headspace.
Winter was too good.
She was too sweet.
She was just too perfectly innocent . . . for the likes of me.