Rowen stayed turned in her seat but looked over at us. “Everything’s going to be fine.”
Rowen wasn’t my sister or my girlfriend or even a lifelong friend, but the surge of panic I felt from realizing her life was in danger indicated otherwise. What would the world look like without Rowen Sterling-Walker ruffling its feathers? Bland. And boring. And monochromatic at best.
“Are you saying Rowen could die? Your unborn baby could die?” I pointed at her stomach as I directed my questions at Jesse.
“Garth!” Josie snapped.
“What? From the sound of him and the look of him, Jesse’s planning for a couple of funerals at the same time he’s having to confront being a dad. Don’t expect me to offer up a simple congrats and move on to discussing what we’ve all got planned for the Fourth of July weekend, because I can’t do that, Joze. I can’t just pretend something isn’t happening when it clearly is. I can’t just sweep something under the rug . . .”
It was her brow rising higher and higher with every sentence that finally got my attention. That brow threw my words back in my face, accusing me of being a hypocrite. I knew she was right. With myself, I was happy to sweep what was going on under the rug to collect with the rest of the dust bunnies, but when it came to the people I cared about, I wanted answers. I wanted to weigh the options.
I leaned across the table toward him, ignoring Josie’s warning look. “What are we talking about here, Jess? What number did the doc give you guys?”
Jesse’s eyes closed, his forehead creasing so deeply it shifted his hat down on his head. “He gave us a number a hell of a lot higher than I would have liked to hear.”
I cursed under my breath, unable to keep from looking at Rowen as if she were drifting away from us, and all I could do was watch it happen. Josie had stopped bouncing in her seat with excitement. The entire table had been sucked dry of excitement and filled with the heaviness of uncertainty. Rowen was slouched in her seat, her hands covering her stomach, and looking a bit scared herself. The dread and panic on Jesse’s face had only increased in severity, and Josie looked as though she was about two seconds from bawling.
“Rowen’s right,” I said, nodding at her. “Everything’s going to be okay, so we can spend the next six or however many months freaking out and getting our panties in a twist about something that’s not going to happen, or we can raise our glasses filled with soda, make a toast, and celebrate the little Sterling-Walker.” I lifted my Coke, returning Rowen’s smile as it formed.
Her Sprite joined mine in the air a few moments later. Josie’s glass came next, and finally, after having to swat his arm across the table, Jesse’s joined our trio of cups.
“Cheers,” I said as we clinked glasses. “And congrats. That fetus is one lucky little munchkin to wind up with you two as its parents.” A laugh slipped past Rowen’s mouth and slowly spread around the table. “If there’s anything we can do for you guys, let us know. However, I won’t be the back-up labor coach for you, Jess, so you better make sure you stay close when your wife’s due. It would leave me permanently scarred, and I’m damaged enough as it is.”
Josie wiped at her eyes, but a tear still ran down her cheeks and around her smile. “Congratulations. I’m so thrilled for you both. Garth’s right—let’s hold on to hope instead of letting fear drive us, okay? Besides, we’ve got important things to discuss. Like the theme colors of your baby shower I’m going to throw this fall.” Josie winked at Rowen before throwing out dates and something about shower games.
That was when I tuned out. “Go figure I’d be the one to shed light on a situation when you were sitting at the table.”
Jesse opened his eyes, staring at his plate without really seeing it. My words hadn’t mollified him as much as they had they girls.
“Rowen’s going to be fine, Jess. Come on. You have to know that.” I lowered my voice and leaned across the table. “There’s no fucking way you or me will let anything take her or your baby away from this world, you hear me? That’s not going to happen, so you stop thinking it right now.”
He stared at his plate for another minute before looking up. “I can’t lose her. She’s my whole world. I can’t lose her.”
I could so empathize with the look on his face right then. It was the same look I’d carry everywhere if Josie were in Rowen’s position. “You’re not going to.”
I waited for that light in his eyes to tell me he was on board, for that flicker of defiance to follow my lead, but it never came. Jesse was going to worry until he got to hold his baby and kiss his wife on the forehead. He wasn’t going to find his peaceful place until he had his family in his arms at the end of all this.
Josie’s hand weaved through mine again. She was still busy talking with Rowen, and no one around the table seemed interested in the expensive steaks in front of them. Except the pregnant woman. She was nibbling daintily at hers, probably because her stomach had staged a revolt for the past three months, from the sound of it.
“I can’t believe this. I’m so, so excited I don’t know how I’m going to make it until November,” Josie said.
“The end of November,” Rowen added, which made Josie groan.
“When can you find out what it is?”
Rowen finished chewing and swallowed. “It’s a baby, Josie. We already know what it is.”
Across the table, I detected a hint of a smile threatening to ruin Jesse’s somber expression.
“Your humor has gotten worse since getting knocked up, you know that?” Josie flicked a sugar packet at Rowen, laughing.
Faster than a speeding bullet (no joke) Jesse’s hand snapped in front of Rowen and snagged the sugar packet from the air.
Rowen thanked him with a cheek pat. “My hero.”
“Come on though. When are you going to find out the sex of the baby? Five months? Six? I can’t remember when they can tell for sure.” Josie propped her elbows up onto the table and leaned into it like she was enraptured.
I might not have felt like her about all topics of a baby nature, but it was nice having the conversation—said or unsaid—shift away from me and what had happened and what would happen.