“Kill him,” I say. “I think he wants him dead.”
“He won’t kill him,” Grayson bites out. “He’s got this under control.”
“He was quaking, literally, after he found out about his father. That is not under control.”
“Quaking?” Grayson demands.
“Yes. His entire body was trembling, and I know it was one of those attacks he used to have trying to come back.”
He narrows his eyes on me. “You know about the attacks?”
“Yes. I know. He isn’t good right now.”
“My God, Grayson,” Mia says. “If he’s that bad and she’s as bonded to him as you told me she is, then let her call him. Get him back. Make sure he’s okay.”
Grayson stares at Mia, seconds ticking by before he pulls his phone from his pocket and punches a number before handing it to me. “It’s ringing.”
I eagerly take the phone and listen as the ringing continues, and then goes to voicemail. “Eric,” I breathe out. “Please come back. Don’t meet with him tonight. Talk to me. Be with me. Take a breath and just think. Please. I need you and I don’t want to lose you.” I hang up and redial, but it goes to voicemail again. This time when the line beeps, I say, “Please come back to me, now, before you meet with him.”
I disconnect and hand the phone back to Grayson before I walk into the living room, barely seeing the room, my destination the floor-to-ceiling windows. I stop at the glass and stare out at the inky night, not a star in the sky. There is just the darkness eating away at Eric, and holding us captive.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Harper
Fifteen minutes after Eric leaves me in his apartment with Grayson and Mia, I’m fretting and then fretting some more over where he is and what he’s doing. I’m also still standing at the window of Eric’s apartment, watching the fog expand and consume all remnants of the city lights. The way this family consumes both Eric and my mother. “He’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever known,” Grayson says, stepping to my side.
“But he’s human,” I argue, turning to face him.
“Barely,” he replies softly. “More so with you in the picture.”
“I thought you were more than his moral compass. I thought you were his best friend?”
“Part of being his friend is seeing him clearly.”
“And yet you just said he’s barely human. He’s always human.”
“He doesn’t think like you and me. He lives with numbers first, and people second.”
“Those numbers are his wall, his shield he hides behind and inside. And while it’s hard to explain why, I know him. I understand him, and in his mind, those numbers tell one story over and over. The Kingston family killed his mother, the only person he’s ever loved, besides you. Distance and your friendship allowed him to bank that, to compartmentalize his pain, but they pulled him back into their world. They brought it to the surface.” My fist balls on my chest. “And I helped them.” I turn back to the glass and press my hands to the bar there. “I came here to get him. I helped set this in motion.”
“You didn’t know you were being used.”
I can’t even look at him for the guilt spiraling inside me, a sharp blade that won’t stop cutting me. “I should have known. I knew the family couldn’t be trusted.”
“My understanding is that’s exactly why you went to Eric. Because you knew they couldn’t be trusted and you felt he could help. And he is helping. He’s the reason you’re alive right now.”
“I have coffee,” Mia exclaims, joining us, two mugs in her hands, one that she hands me and another that she hands Grayson.
“Thank you,” I say, accepting the mug. “I think I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t calm my nerves. I’m really worried.” I eye Grayson. “He told me he hasn’t had an attack in years.”
“Not since college,” Grayson confirms.
“But he did today. Driven by the emotional trigger of his father. That was obvious.”
He eyes Mia and seems to share a silent conversation with her before he refocuses on me. “The last time I saw him like that, he left Harvard the next day. He knew Isaac was pushing his buttons. He put distance between the two of them. He removed the triggers.”
This comment doesn’t take me to a good place. “And yet he knew his father was a trigger, and he just went right to him.”