“I remember making you miss ice cream last night.” He reaches for the spoon, filling it with a bite that includes a little of everything in the bowl. He lifts the spoon, bringing it to my mouth as I part my lips and let him feed me. I moan when the sweet treat hits my tongue. I’ve never had ice cream for breakfast before. Tank leans down, kissing my lips. He slips his warm tongue into my now cool mouth. When he pulls away I sit with my eyes closed for a minute, savoring the taste of him.
“If you keep this up I might never leave,” I joke.
“Good.” He shrugs before bringing another spoonful to my gaping mouth. I close my mouth around it. I never know what to expect from him, so I’m not sure if he’s joking or not. I’m enjoying letting him feed me. When I was growing up, my parents never really showed me much affection. Most of the attention they gave me was for their own selfish reasons. They always made sure that they saved face to the outside world. I was expected to be perfect in everything that I did. Sitting here having ice cream for breakfast is something that would have never happened when I lived at home, so I’m going to savor every moment of it.
When I woke up this morning and Tank wasn’t in bed with me, I had a small panic attack. I immediately convinced myself that I needed to leave. My own fears got the best of me until I saw the panic on his face when he realized I was trying to leave. All of the things he’d said the night before come flooding back, reminding me that Tank told me he loved me at one point. I’m not sure if he knows I heard him.
If I’m being honest with myself, then I don’t think Tank is joking about me never leaving. I have no idea why this man has a fascination with me, but I’m going to go with it.
I let him feed me a few more bites. “What about you?” I take the spoon from his hand to feed him a bite. He smiles so big it makes my heart flutter.
“I must be winning you over if you’re sharing your food with me now.” He’s so smug about it. I swear his chest puffs out a touch. I laugh because he’s so freaking adorable. I’m sure that’s not a word people commonly use to describe him, but he really is. He might be one of the biggest men I’ve ever met, but it’s clear he’s the sweetest, too. I guess big men come with big hearts, or maybe I’m special. I enjoy thinking that I’m the only one getting this softer side of him. I want to have something from him that he doesn’t share with anyone else.
“I think after last night you can eat anything of mine.” My eyes widen for a moment and my mouth falls open when I realize what I’ve said. Tank bursts into laughter. “That’s not what I meant,” I rush to add. “I mean you can…I—” I drop my spoon. “I give up.” Tank keeps on chuckling as he picks up the spoon and brings another bite to my mouth. I take it quickly so I have a reason not to speak any more. Who knows what might come out next? Plus, although I’m eating this cold ice cream, my entire face feels like it’s on fire.
“You can drop the spoon, but I’ll always pick it back up for you.” I snort and swallow the bite he gave me. He reaches out, running his hand down my hair. I’ve noticed he loves playing with it. Last night he took every opportunity he could to bury his hands in it. I could feel him stroking it as I slept last night. The tiny touches relaxed me until I fell into a deeper sleep.
“No more half lies.” He tucks the hair behind my ear before placing his elbow on the counter to lean against it, making him eye level with me. “I need you to tell me what was going on in that pretty little head of yours. Like when you walked out here this morning telling me you had to go to class.” His eyes meet mine, waiting for me to reply.
“I’m sorry.” I worry my bottom lip between my teeth. “I do have class, but not until later.” My plan was to sneak out of the apartment and hide out in the library until my afternoon lit class. That way I could avoid Tank and avoid any uncomfortable morning-after talk where he would lie about wanting to see me again and then never call.
I look into his eyes and know how stupid my thought process was. He’s as new to this as I am. At least he has the balls to throw it out there that he wants to spend the day with me. I’d just immediately thought the worst and tried to avoid him. It’s a bad habit I have from years of disappointing my parents. If I thought someone is disappointed in me, I avoid them. It doesn’t look like that’s going to fly with Tank. He’s going to push me to open up and I want that. Maybe if I open up to him he’ll start to do the same.