"I don't get followed by moles."
"You never see the ones that follow you."
"It's just a college, not some intelligence service."
"Sometimes people with the least that is worth stealing are the most concerned with giving the appearance of having great treasures hidden away."
"Is that from the Bible?"
"No, it's from observation."
"So what do we do?"
"Your voice is too young," said Sister Carlotta. "I'll work the phone."
She talked her way to the head registrar of the university. "He was a very nice boy to carry all my things after the wheel broke on my cart, and if these keys are his I want to get them back to him right away, before he worries. . . . No I will not drop them in the mail, how would that be 'right away'? Nor will I leave them with you, they might not be his, and then what would I do? If they are his keys, he will be very glad you told me where his classes are, and if they aren't his keys, then what harm will it cause? . . . All right, I'll wait."
Sister Carlotta lay back on the bed. Bean laughed at her. "How did a nun get so good at lying?"
She held down the MUTE button. "It isn't lying to tell a bureaucrat whatever story it takes to get him to do his job properly."
"But if he does his job properly, he won't give you any information about Peter."
"If he does his job properly, he'll understand the purpose of the rules and therefore know when it is appropriate to make exceptions."
"People who understand the purpose of the rules don't become bureaucrats," said Bean. "That's something we learned really fast in Battle School."
"Exactly," said Carlotta. "So I have to tell him the story that will he
lp him overcome his handicap." Abruptly she refocused her attention on the phone. "Oh, how very nice. Well, that's fine. I'll see him there."
She hung up the phone and laughed. "Well, after all that, the registrar emailed him. His desk was connected, he admitted that he had lost his keys, and he wants to meet the nice old lady at Yum-Yum."
"What is that?" asked Bean.
"I haven't the slightest idea, but the way she said it, I figured that if I were an old lady living near campus, I'd already know." She was already deep in the city directory. "Oh, it's a restaurant near campus. Well, this is it. Let's go meet the boy who would be king."
"Wait a minute," said Bean. "We can't go straight there."
"Why not?"
"We have to get some keys."
Sister Carlotta looked at him like he was crazy. "I made up the bit about the keys, Bean."
"The registrar knows that you're meeting Peter Wiggin to give him back his keys. What if he happens to be going to Yum-Yum right now for lunch? And he sees us meet Peter, and nobody gives anybody any keys?"
"We don't have a lot of time."
"OK, I have a better idea. Just act flustered and tell him that in your hurry to get there to meet him, you forgot to bring the keys, so he should come back to the house with you."
"You have a talent for this, Bean."
"Deception is second nature to me."
The bus was on time and moved briskly, this being an off-peak time, and soon they were on campus. Bean was better at translating maps into real terrain, so he led the way to Yum-Yum.
The place looked like a dive. Or rather, it was trying to look like a dive from an earlier era. Only it really was rundown and under-maintained, so it was a dive trying to look like a nice restaurant decorated to look like a dive. Very complicated and ironic, Bean decided, remembering what Father used to say about a neighborhood restaurant near their house on Crete: Abandon lunch, all ye who enter here.