The moment I stepped inside, the kids crowded around me, talking all at once, eager to tell me about their adventures and hear my recounts of the last few races. Remo and Nino were already in the common area, sitting at the long dining table with their wives. Neither Fabiano and Leona nor Gemma and Savio were present. Maybe they had date nights.
Kiara was listening to something Nino said, then her gaze cut to me and she smiled kindly. Fina got up and hugged me briefly, her keen blue eyes checking my face. I supposed I was looking out of it. “You’re not going to lose your shit again?” she whispered.
I smiled wryly, remembering my teenage ways of dealing with difficult situations. “I’m not a boy anymore.”
“You’re not,” she agreed and stepped back to make room for Kiara while she ushered the kids to the table.
“Why don’t you help me grab the food from the kitchen?” Kiara asked.
I nodded and followed her down the long corridor into the vast kitchen. In the past, when it had been only my brothers and me, and our nutrition had mainly consisted of takeout pizza, the room had seemed a waste of space. That had changed since our family had expanded and women, who enjoyed healthy options on occasion, joined us.
When I risked a peek into the oven, I laughed dryly.
Kiara’s eyebrows rose. “What’s wrong? Is it burned?” She hurried past me and ripped open the oven to check on her casserole.
“No,” I said. “It’s just that I only recently told Dinara about your mac and cheese after she had her first taste of the dish out of a can.”
Kiara closed the oven and turned it off, but made no move to remove the casserole. Instead she leaned against the kitchen counter with a mildly surprised expression. “You told her about our family?”
I shrugged. “Bits and pieces. Not much. But I promised her your mac and cheese would convince her of the dish.”
Kiara tried to stifle a smile but failed. “You two spend a lot of time together. It must be serious if you even consider introducing her to us.”
Suddenly, I felt on the spot. I leaned against the counter beside Kiara but didn’t look at her directly. “We’re not serious. We haven’t defined what we have. It’s more of a friends with benefits situation.”
“Like it was with C.J.? Or are you still seeing her as well?” Kiara asked without a hint of judgment in her voice. That was what I appreciated about her. She didn’t judge people. She listened and tried to understand.
“No, I ended it with her before I started something with Dinara.” I paused, considering my time with C.J. in comparison to what I had with Dinara now. It felt different. I wanted it to be different. With C.J. I’d never considered a future together, never wanted to spend every waking moment with her, but with Dinara…
Kiara touched my arm. “The look on your face tells me it’s more than just friends with benefits.”
I chuckled. “Considering the reason why Dinara sought me in the first place and what I know now, I’m not sure she would agree with your assessment.”
“You think she’s being with you to find out the truth about her past and get in contact with her mother?” The hint of protectiveness in her tone teased a smile out of me. Kiara tried to protect every member of the family.
“She didn’t know her mother was alive when she joined the races but she definitely hoped to gain information through me,” I said. “But I don’t think that’s why she spends every night with me. She and I both share a drug history. It’s like we’re connected on a deep, inexplainable level.”
I shook my head with a grimace. “Fuck, I sound like a goddamn horoscope.”
“You’re in love,” Kiara said, her eyes alight with amusement.
My alarm bells rang. Falling in love was something I’d tried to avoid since Harper broke my stupid naïve teenage heart. Hurting my feelings wasn’t as easy now. No one had been close enough to even try.
“I don’t know. But even if that were the case, Dinara is a Bratva princess. Her father is our enemy. I doubt Grigory or Remo are keen on making peace. And after the thing with Gemma’s family, it would cause a shitstorm in the Camorra if Remo as much as tried to establish a truce.”
Kiara nodded slowly, her expression sympathetic. She touched my arm. “It’s not like Remo cares about other people’s opinions. If he thinks peace with the Bratva is a tactical advantage, he’ll do it. Shitstorm or not.” She flushed.
It was always funny to watch Kiara say curse words. It was obvious she felt uncomfortable using them. “And you know he’d do almost anything for you, Adamo.”
I sighed. “Yeah, I know.” Remo was a family man. He’d lay his life down for any of us. But I was getting ahead of myself. Dinara and I weren’t really dating yet. I wasn’t sure what she wanted, now less than ever. “Did Nino tell you about Dinara’s past?” I asked carefully. I was worried about bridging the subject of sexual abuse with Kiara, reluctant to open up old wounds for her. I still remembered how submissive and fearful she’d been when she’d first joined our family, and it made me furious to think about the horrors both she and Dinara had been submitted to.