I sneer, “You’re seriously fucking throwing this on me now? Seriously, Ma? I don’t fucking believe this shit. ”
She swallows visibly before saying a strained, “Think of what this money could do for you. This money was always going to be yours whether you wanted it or not. If you don’t want it, give it away. Think of what a domestic violence charity could do with this money, baby. There are people out there who need help… just like we needed and never got. ”
I can hate on her for the rest of my life and blame her for what happened, but I know how my father was. If he said he’d kill me, I wouldn’t put it past him.
She puts the account details in front of me with shaking hands and I freeze. I stare and stare and stare at the figure before chuckling. My chuckles turn into full-blown laughter and I see mom crack a smile. I look up at her and ask, “This shit for real, Ma?”
A seven figure number sits in front of me and all I can do is laugh. I had nothing growing up. You’d think I’d be grateful for this now, but I’m not. I hate this money more than I hate my father. It’s as if I’m being compensated for the years of torture I endured.
No money can fix me.
I tell my mom, “I’m seven shades of fucked up and this is what I get? I’m a simple guy, Mom. I don’t even own a TV. I live within my means. I don’t need this. ”
Her eyes gleam and she asks, “What about your pretty redhead? Could she use some of this?”
My head snaps up and she smiles sadly. “Met your lady today. She ripped me to shreds. Tore into me. Said I had no right to see you and that I was to never come back there. ” Mom stares at me and says finally, “Ever. ”
I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face.
Nat tearing my mom a new asshole…I’d pay to see that shit. I can only imagine what she said.
She chuckles and says quietly, “She really loves you, Ash. I’m so happy that you found someone who’d go head-to-head with anyone to keep you safe and protected. Because she would. She’s a little ball of fire, that one. I like her. ”
My little ball of fire.
She really is.
Maybe mom’s right. Maybe this money could help Nat somehow. I might hold onto it a while longer before I make any final decisions.
I stand, taking the ring case and placing it in my pocket. I fold up the account information and pocket that, too. Unsure where to go from here, I say, “I gotta get back home. I didn’t leave under the best circumstances. ”
Mom takes two steps closer to me and takes my hand in hers. She says confidently, “She’ll forgive you, baby. She loves you. Said that she was your family now. So go home to your…”
Her eyes widen in question. I answer, “Nat. My Nat. ”
Smiling, she whispers, “You get home to your Nat and make it better. ”
She looks up at me uncertainly before wrapping her arms around my waist and squeezing me tight. I’m not sure I want to hug her but put an arm around her shoulders anyways. She says into my chest, “Flowers help. ”
Smirking, I let go of her. This woman is not the person I remember hating. This woman is the mom I chose to forget. She’s back to the way she always should’ve been and I’m happy for her. My face turns somber, “Nice seeing you, Mom. ”
Letting go of me, her face turns bleak. “You can come here anytime. Anytime you like. I’d be happy to see you more often. I don’t suppose I’ll be invited to the wedding?”
Answering her honestly, I say, “No. You wouldn’t be. ”
I watch her heart shatter. Her eyes fill with tears as she responds, her voice trembling, “That’s fair enough. ”
I don’t say goodbye, just turn and walk down the hall toward the front door. I hear my aunt and uncle talk on the porch. As soon as I step outside, I ask Aunt Faith, “Where can I buy some kickass flowers?”
***
Holy shit.
I am nervous as fuck right now. Standing in front of Nat’s door holding a bunch of flowers that she’s probably going to throw away, five minutes have passed and I still haven’t got the balls to knock.
Be a man. Be the type of man she needs. Be fearless.
Before I can stop myself, I knock. Hard.