Realizing all too quickly that this is a very stupid idea, I turn on my heel and swiftly head back to my apartment. I know I’m too late when I hear his door open. “Nat? Everything okay?”
Busted.
I turn to face him and utter, “Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t realize what time it was, and by the time I did, I figured you’d be asleep. ”
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
He leans his body against the doorframe and crosses one leg over the other. He’s dressed in his regular sleepwear of his blue pants and white tee. He makes it all too easy to make plain pajamas look sexy. His eyes search me long and hard as if he doesn’t believe me. I play with the ring on my finger and shift nervously, looking around for an escape when he slowly asks, “Wanna come in?”
Bad idea. Don’t go in. It’s a trap!
But my mouth decides for me. “Sure. ”
What the feck, mouth?
Once I step into his apartment, I realize it’s the first time I’ve been in his place. The lights are off, but through the illumination coming from the side of the room, I can see it clearly enough to notice it’s exactly as I thought it would be.
Bare as the day it was made.
No sofa, no dining table, no TV. A wide bookshelf full to the brim of books sits in the place where the sofa should be and the wall closest to the patio has a long table with, I mentally count, one, two, three, four computers and one laptop. They’re all up and running. Some flashing while others beep. His apartment is like a freakin’ control room. The only thing that our places seem to have in common is that we both have a refrigerator.
I look at him and utter out of the corner of my mouth, “Not a lot going on in here. ”
He glares through furrowed brows. “I like it just fine. ”
Wide eyed and nodding slowly, I respond, “And that’s all that matters, friend. ”
Rolling his eyes, he asks shortly, “Was there something you needed?”
Okay. Be quick. Get to the point. Then run like hell.
Nodding once more, I step forward, closing the distance between us. By the time I reach him, his face has turned questioning. I explain in a rush, “You know I kind of realized that you’ve not come to my rescue just once, but twice now, and I haven’t said a damn thing to you about it. ” I turn and pace, running my hand down my chin to stroke my imaginary beard. Scoffing, I tell him, “My mom would be so disappointed in me and I hate to say it, but I know I was really selfish today and just thinking about myself. And what shit taste I have in men. And how much I miss Tina and the girls. And how much I wish I could tell them what happened without sounding like a weak person or victim. ” My eyes start to sting. I breathe in a shuddering breath and go on, “I just don’t know how this happened. I should’ve seen it from the start, but I think I was so desperate to connect with someone that I settled for anyone. ” I turn to him and point at his chest. “You saw it. You called him the, quote, angry man, end quote, and all I did was get defensive. I should’ve known, but I didn’t and now I feel stupid about it. ” My feet still suddenly, stopping me in my pacing tracks. My eyes shut and placing my fingertips to my forehead, I laugh a humorless laugh. “So stupid. Anyways, I just wanted to come over here and thank you for being my hero. Twice. And I don’t know what you did to Cole, but I gotta say, I was as happy as a pig in shit hearing him scream like a sissy girl. ”
Ghost blinks. Once. Twice. A wide smile transforms his beautiful face. He responds softly, “That was a fucking long thank you, pretty girl, and I’ll take it, but you should know, I’m more of an anti-hero. ”
My face softens and I smile a small smile. “That’s not true. ” I close the distance between us and take hold of his hand. I feel so tiny next to him. My head only reaches his shoulder when I’m without heels. His eyes question me. He looks at my dainty hand holding his large, calloused one. I whisper, “You didn’t have to come but you did. You helped me even though I really don’t deserve it. I’m always such a bitch to you. ” I dip my face and confide in him. “You know I like you. You and me, we’re the same kind. We’re like avengers. Protecting the people we love. It makes sense for us to be friends, right?”
I look up into his softening eyes and he nods once.
Relief flows through me, lightening my body. I squeeze his hand and smile. “Okay. Good. Great. Now close your eyes, please. ”
His eyes narrow untrustingly and I roll my eyes at him. With a shake of the head, I urge, “Would you just do it!”
He rolls his eyes right back at me and laughter climbs up my throat, itching to get free. I bite my lip to stop it from escaping. He puffs out a breath, puts his hands on his hips and makes a show of closing his eyes. Once they’re closed, I lift my hands in front of his face and wave ‘em around like I’m at a rave party. I’m satisfied he can’t see, but now that I’m in this position, I don’t know how I’m going to make this work. Looking around his apartment, I tell him, “Don’t move a muscle. ”
I run across the room to the bookcase and get the two phone books from the bottom shelf. Placing the phone books on the floor in front of Ghost’s feet, one on top of the other, I carefully step on my makeshift stepping stool. I bounce up and down to make sure they’re stable, and once I’m satisfied there’s no threat of me falling on my ass, I place both my palms onto Ghost’s hard chest. His body stiffens at my touch, but as I rub his chest gently, I soon feel him relax under my palms. I take this moment to get a good look at him.
He’s beautiful.
His new haircut is modern and stylish, shaved at the sides but still longer up top. It brings attention to his face and makes him look polished.
My gaze slides down his lean and muscular body. The white tee he wears is tight against his skin, and I can make out every ridge of muscle that makes up his abs. His arms are toned and strong, with veins running through them. I wonder what it would be like to be held by those arms.
Here goes nothing.
The phone books have almost made me the same height as Ghost and we’re so close that my breasts are almost pressed up against him. I slide my hands from his chest, up his shoulders to curve behind his neck. He tenses when I pull my body flat against his and hold onto him as if I’m scared he’ll run from me. Because, in reality, I am scared he’ll run from me. My soft cheek rests against his stubbled one. My fingertips play with the short hair at the back of his head.
This is intense. There are too many feels.