Anger burned, a hot lump in her chest, but Ellen forced her voice to stay calm. “I suppose I do.”
“Of course, I don’t know what good it will do,” Ruth continued relentlessly. “You’re thirteen soon, aren’t you?”
“Next month.”
“And I expect you’ll stop school after next year. There’s no point going on, is there, the way you’ve been getting on? Artie Dole is two months younger than you and Mr. Phillips says he’ll be ready to move up before Christmas.”
Ellen tried to keep her face blank as she shrugged, but inside she felt as if her fragile hopes were being torn to shreds. No school after next year? She realized she’d assumed since she wasn’t needed on a farm, she could continue school for as long as she liked, perhaps even go to the high school in Rutland. Formless dreams as of yet, but now dashed in their infancy. It seemed as if nothing good happened here.
Ruth’s eyes narrowed as she gazed at Ellen thoughtfully. “Of course, there could be another way...”
“What way?” Hamish asked, a thread of anxiety in his usually genial voice.
“Rose needs someone to take care of her little ones, and I certainly can’t be spared.” Ruth nodded decisively. “We’ll send Ellen instead. She isn’t fit for schooling anyway, and I’m sure she’ll be a help to Rose.” She fixed Ellen with a hard stare. “Won’t you?”
“Send me?” Ellen repeated faintly. “Where?”
“To my sister’s, in Ontario,” Hamish explained. He threw a troubled look at his wife. “Rose McCafferty. You probably don’t remember her, but she’s your aunt. She married an Irishman right off the ship and went to live up on Lake Ontario. She has five children all down with the scarlet fever, but I don’t think...” he trailed off under Ruth’s fixed stare.
“You don’t think what, Hamish Copley? It makes perfect sense. Ellen can be of some use to someone, and I’ll be able to stay here.”
“But she’s just a child...”
“You’ve nursing experience, don’t you?” Ruth demanded of Ellen. “You nursed your mother for over a year, as I recall.”
Ellen nodded. She felt as if her carefully constructed world, difficult as it was, was collapsing around her. Move again? To nurse someone else’s children? The McCaffertys might be kin but they were still strangers, even more so than Hamish and Ruth.
And worse yet, she would not be able to go to school.
This wouldn’t have happened if Da hadn’t left, Ellen thought with a savage surge of bitterness. She gazed at her aunt’s determined face, a face she’d come to hope hid a fledgling affection, and wondered if her aunt was punishing her. Maybe Ruth wanted to see her off just as she’d seen off Da.
“Now that you’ve finished eavesdropping, you can go upstairs and get some sleep. Tomorrow you’ll tell your teacher you won’t be back to school after this week, and I’ll arrange your train fare.”
Ellen was amazed at how quickly things could change. In just a matter of days, Aunt Ruth had bought her train passage to Millhaven, Ontario, from which she would take a ferry to Amherst Island, where the McCaffertys lived. She’d sent a telegram ahead to warn them of Ellen’s arrival, muttering darkly all the while about the unreliability of telegraph services on the island, so Ellen wondered if anyone would even know she was coming.
Three days after Aunt Ruth made her decision, Ellen found herself at the train station, a valise at her feet, while Aunt Ruth and Uncle Hamish said their goodbyes.
“You’ll change at Rouse’s Point and Ogdensberg, to Millhaven,” Aunt Ruth said briskly, although she’d gone over Ellen’s itinerary several times already. An all-day train to Rouse’s Point, on the Canadian border, where Aunt Ruth had arranged for the landlady of a boarding house to look after her for the night. The next day, she would take the train to the shore of Lake Ontario, where she would board a ferry to Amherst Island. “The conductor will help you,” Ruth continued bracingly. “Just ask if you’re unsure.”
Ellen felt dizzy. Two rail changes and a ferry, not to mention an overnight stay, by herself? She wanted Da desperately, and yet at the same time she couldn’t help but feel a sharp stab of resentment that he wasn’t here to help her.
He’d made his choices. And hers were being made for her.
“I wish one of us could go with you, Ellen,” Uncle Hamish said in a low voice. “It’s a long way, I know.”
“Nonsense, it’s all taken care of,” Ruth said briskly. “She’ll be in good hands. I’ve promised Rose she can have you till Christmas. After that I expect she’ll want you sent back here.”
Ellen felt like a parcel, and an unwanted one at that. She couldn’t help but wonder what had turned Ruth so cold towards her.
“I’m sorry, Aunt Ruth,” she said hesitantly, “if I’ve offended you in some way.”
“Offended me? Of course not.” Ruth looked surprised, and then almost as if she wanted to say something but decided not to. “You might even enjoy getting to know your cousins, Ellen, if you let yourself. At least you’ll be with other children.” To Ellen’s surprise she bent and kissed her cheek. Her lips were cool and soft and as she straightened she gave what Ellen supposed was meant to be a smile. “Away with you, then. God bless and keep safe.”
The train whistle blew and Uncle Hamish picked up her valise. Ellen turned towards the train and boarded it with a heavy heart.
She didn’t actually remember much of the journey. She felt as if she had a fragile enough hold on her composure, and to remark on all the strangeness of it would make her relinquish it completely.
She did notice the leaves, the trees creating a blurred rainbow of reds and yellows as the train sped by. They looked, Ellen thought, as if their tops were on fire. The sky was a deep, aching blue, so bright and solid a color it hurt to look at it.