Dad smirks.
“Walked to his house. Knocked on the door. No answer. Did that for a week straight. His van was parked in the drive, so I just assumed he was refusing to open the door to me. But then Duke, the stable manager, told me Bodhi was gone.”
“Gone?”
I nod, taking a deep breath to soothe the emotions that are still so raw. “Gone. He said Barrett had set aside a stash of money for Bodhi, but the money could only be used for traveling, which seemed odd since Barrett asked for money for his final medication.”
“That is odd. So Bodhi is traveling?”
I shrug. “Guess so.”
“That’s different than moving. He’ll be back.”
“Maybe.” I turn back toward the ocean, soaking up the salty breeze and late day sun.
Spending the summer in California with my dad was a good idea. For the first time in my life, I don’t want to be in Colorado.
“Selling many paintings?”
“Yep. I feel like an actual grownup with a steady paycheck. Totally sucks.”
He chuckles. “How’s your back?”
“I see an acupuncturist and chiropractor on the regular. Massages weekly. Herbs. Kinesio taping. It’s actually better than it’s ever been.”
“Pot?”
I glance over at him, giving him a smirk. He’s always hated that I’ve spent so many years relying on edibles for pain relief. “No. I actually stopped when I needed it the most. But …”
My gaze finds the endless blue horizon again.
“But?”
Forcing steady breaths, I find the words without allowing the tears to take over. I’m tired of crying. “But I wanted the pain. All of it. I thought I deserved it. I knew Bodhi and Bella were in pain. I knew they wouldn’t get high to escape it, so I didn’t either. Eventually, my heart went numb, and I realized my back still hurt like hell on certain days, so Mom got me a different kind of help.”
“You’re clean?”
I grin, shaking my head. “You make medicinal marijuana sound so terrible. But yes, I’m blisslessly sober.”
“I’m not sure blisslessly is a word. You should have stayed in school.”
I grin. The real kind. It feels good. It also feels wrong. What if Bodhi hasn’t found his smile again?
He nudges my arm. My foot shifts a bit to keep my balance. “Have you called him? Texted?”
“He thinks I killed his dad. What would I even say?”
“It’s been a couple months now. He’s had time to rationalize what happened. There’s no way he still thinks you killed his father.”
“Then why hasn’t he called me?”
“Maybe he’s waiting on you to apologize.” He nudges me again, making me sidestep a few paces.
I shoot him a narrow-eyed scowl. “I can’t apologize.”
“Why?”
“Because if given the chance, knowing the outcome, I would do it again. It was the right decision.”
Dad’s eyes widen, lips part.
“What?”
He shakes his head. “I’m proud to call you my daughter. You risked something really important to you for the greater good. I know men my age who still haven’t mastered that concept.”
“Thanks.” I nudge him back. “And even if it makes me blisslessly miserable, I hope he finds a life. A real one with a wife and kids. Maybe a dog or goat to hang out with his horse.”
“Stop.” He nudges me harder.
“Dad!” I stumble into the breaking waves, my hands sinking into the sand and water crashing against me. My hat takes off on its own.
Scowling, I grab a handful of wet sand and throw it at him. It hits his knees.
“Be your age, Henna. Be pissed. Brokenhearted. Bitter. Jealous. Be Hell.” He scoops me up and walks a few feet farther into the water. Then he tosses me.
I squeal as the water engulfs me. When I break the surface, he’s wearing the biggest grin. Wasting no time, I attack him, dragging him down with me. We wrestle in the waves until we’re both out of breath. I hop on his back since it’s a bit too deep for me to keep my head above the water. Hugging his neck, I kiss his cheek. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For respecting my feelings.”
“And how do you really feel?”
“I feel like it’s easy for Bodhi to walk away from me. He’s done it before. When I left, I had to tear myself away from him, but I didn’t do it without a goodbye. I didn’t do it without handing him a part of my heart to keep him company. I did it with tears. A kiss. And a promise of coming back. He didn’t even leave me. He just closed his eyes and …”
And they’re back.
Tears join the salty drops of ocean on my face. “He said he couldn’t look at me.”
“That’s his loss.”
“Says my dad.”
“Yes. But that doesn’t make it any less true.”
“I want him to want me. Like the epic kind of love where he comes for me. The kind where he doesn’t take no for an answer. The kind that involves begging and groveling. I want him to chase me. Need me. I want him to hold me in his arms the way I’ve held him in my heart.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
A month later.
“Pack a bag. We’re celebrating your birthday in style this year.” Juni plops down on my bed.
I glance up from my canvas, dipping my brush in deep blue. “I’m good.”
She frowns. “You’re not good. You’re drab and boring.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
“You’re turning twenty-two, not fifty-two. Let’s do this.” She jumps up, tearing through the clothes in my closet.
I keep painting.
“Cute dresses and bikinis. That’s all you’ll need.”
“Sounds like shaving will be required. Not sure I’m in the mood to shave.”
Tossing clothes onto my bed, she rolls her eyes. “I already have appointments for us. Tomorrow we’re getting waxed, mani-pedis, facials … everything. Then we fly off to party on The Juniper.”
“That’s a weird name for a yacht. Don’t you think?” I smirk.
“You think The Henna would be better?”
I nod, gathering my brushes because clearly I’m done for the day. “Now that’s a solid name for a grand vessel.”
Her lips twist. “Do you want a yacht?”
Chuckling, I carry my brushes to the kitchen. “No. I don’t.”
“I feel you submitting to this.” She follows me. “I anticipated an argument. But you’re not really arguing with me. Does that mean you’re onboard with your birthday party?”
“Sure.” I sigh. “Nothing keeping me here.”
“Yes! That’s my girl. Our appointments are at nine tomorrow morning. Be packed and out front by eight.”
*
Italy
I love Italy. Of course, this is where we’re celebrating my birthday.
“Wow, you invited all your best friends to my birthday party.” I frown as we make our way to The Juniper where all of Juni’s and Zach’s friends are already sipping champagne and relaxing in the sun as ZIP’s helicopter flies in and out with more guests.
“Don’t be grumpy. You know them too.”
“I’m not grumpy. I just thought it would be the three of us.”
“What if I told you it’s just going to be you and Mario.”
“Who’s Mario? And what are you talking about?”
“Mario is that fine man over there.” She points to the smaller yacht next to The Juniper. It has high sails and a man in white with a captain’s hat. “He’s your captain.”
I stop, making the guy carrying our bags behind us nearly ram into my back. “What do you mean my captain?”
“Happy birthday, Henna.” Zach catches up to us and kisses me on the cheek before continuing toward the pier. “Your mom came up with the name,” he calls over his shoulder.
I take a few more steps to see the name on the side of the yacht.
Hell and High Water
“Oh my god … you bought me a yacht. That’s so … wrong.”
She loops her arm around mine, pulling me down the pier. “You paint and draw. You love to sail. You love the Mediterranean. A yacht was the obvious choice.”
“This is insane,” I murmur.
“Go check it out. Get settled in. There are all your favorite foods waiting for you. Meet Mario, but he’s married, so keep that in mind.” Juni winks as she stops at the gangway of The Juniper while I take reluctant steps toward my yacht.
Fucking insane. I don’t want a yacht. They don’t keep well in the Rockies. I know plenty of rich people. I can always borrow one in a pinch.
“Welcome aboard, Miss Lane. I’m your captain, Mario Garza. If you need anything just let me know. And…” He takes off his hat and gives me a slight bow “…happy birthday.”
“Thank you.” I smile, but it’s a little forced. I don’t want a captain.
As I explore the yacht, my two bags are loaded onto the vessel for me. Just as Juni said, there are all my favorite foods and drinks.
California veggie rolls. Those are a little bittersweet to see.