“She’s got you there, asshole,” Lucas muttered.
Cy tilted his head, ignored Lucas. “I haven’t seen my dad since I was nine. This week didn’t change anything.”
“Oh? You’ve been hiding out in your house. You said so last week when I showed up. Avoiding town. The only way you’re going to get resolution with your dad, to know why he claimed to have killed Erin, is to confront him. You’ve been hiding from the reporters, but really, you’ve been hiding from the truth. Your dad has more answers than just having to do with Erin’s murder.”
Cy circled his finger in the air around us. “This whole thing isn’t about me.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m the one with the plug in my ass.”
God, I was standing there with my pants halfway down, my ass probably bright red, and a plug was shoved inside me. They could see my pussy, the way my thighs were still wet, although I was no longer the least bit aroused. Reaching back, I pulled out the plug. Carefully, slowly, and with a wince. It wasn’t that great a feeling when I wasn’t into it.
I dropped it to the floor then yanked up my panties and jeans.
“Yes, I did petty shit to get you to spank me. I seem to need it. The release. Like you said, I’ve lost control and you give it to me. Yes, it totally sounds weird. I just hadn’t realized I’d been acting out because of my job. I see it now. And you’re right, I do need to come to terms with what I’m going to be when I grow up.”
I finished fumbling with the button, then stepped back. Pointed. “But you, talk about cranky. You’re the king of avoidance. God, you pulled a rifle on me when I first showed up because you were pissed about your dad. So, don’t get all righteous and bossy when you’re the one who needs to get his shit together.”
Lucas laughed, shook his head.
I went to the little table by the front door, grabbed Lucas’ truck keys—my SUV was still at the mechanic’s—and my bag, looked to him. “I’m taking your truck and going to your house. Alone.”
“Doll, wait,” he countered, standing up. “We need to talk about this. You need to know I feel like what we have is more than fun.”
I loved Lucas, knew Cy’s actions—or inactions—weren’t his issue, but still. I didn’t want to be hugged and coddled right now. I wanted to stew in my anger for a little while. Drink some wine, fume. “This wasn’t supposed to get heavy, Lucas. Fun. Fun. FUN. I wasn’t trying to get my heart involved. Or yours. It hurts too much, to lose the things you want.”
“Then don’t push me away,” he said, his pale eyes pleading. “You’ve got me. I’m right here. I’m all in. And so is Cy if he ever got his head out of his ass.”
“I want to be alone, Lucas.”
He studied me, then nodded. “All right. For now.”
I exhaled, relieved he didn’t push to come with me. I needed time to be angry.
“I’ll handle Mark. My parents,” I told him. Then, to Cy, I added, “Let me know when you deal with your dad. Until then, go stick that plug up your ass.”
11
CY
“Want me to come with you?” Lucas asked as he climbed from my truck and shut his door. He leaned back against it, crossed his arms.
It had snowed overnight, leaving a dusting of white over everything. My breath came out in a white cloud. Thick clouds hung low, dark like lead, just like my mood. There would be more snow before the day was over.
I came around the front of the vehicle and faced him. “Hold my hand, too?”
Lucas slowly shook his head. “Asshole,” he muttered.
I looked to my father’s house, shut my eyes. The place had been built during the great depression. A small, squat box with wood siding. Two windows flanked the front door. Fifty years ago, it may have been blue, now it was an uneven gray with paint flaking away. The roof needed to be replaced, patched here and there as if the owner couldn’t afford more than a quick repair job. The whole house sagged to the left. The lawn was non-existent, a mix of dirt and tall weeds. The concrete walkway from where we parked on the unpaved road to the front door was buckled and heaved. The farmland that surrounded the house hadn’t been plowed in years, from the looks of it. I had to wonder if it was part of my father’s parcel or if he only owned the small bit of yard along with the house. The nearest neighbor was a half a mile down the road.
The place was a fucking mess. It was unbelievable my father had walked away from me and my mom for this.
“You’re here so I don’t kill him. That’s all,” I reminded.
“And you’re here because Hailey handed you your fucking ass.”
The fucker was right. After Hailey had stormed out, I’d received a second telling off by Lucas. Not only had I pissed her off enough that she didn’t want to see me, but she hadn’t wanted to see him either. If she’d said the word fun one more time, I figured Lucas would have spanked her ass.
Had she really thought all we were doing was fooling around? Having a good time? We’d been sprayed by a fucking skunk together! If that wasn’t bonding, I had no idea what the fuck was. And now he was pissed at me. Watching me. Hell, he was babysitting me so I’d get this over with so we could get back to Hailey. He’d made it very clear he’d had to jerk off in the shower instead of getting inside our girl. I was officially a cock blocker and going to get more than a verbal beat down if I didn’t get this over with.