I don’t like him or the way he looks at me.
“We’re doing a DNA test now. You think it’s going to hit, Walsh?” The other officer, Linders, finally speaks to Walsh, even if his eyes are still pinned on me. There’s a certain level of disdain that seeps into my skin every time I meet his gaze.
“I’ll tell you what I think,” Officer Walsh answers. He’s staring at me too, even as he taps the stack of papers in his hand and continues, “I think she was in the wrong place at the wrong time and that she has names.”
Tick, tick, the clock goes on. It’s been like this for hours in this cold interrogation room. An ache in my back reminds me how uncomfortable this metal chair is.
“I don’t think so. I think she was hired for a hit or was hiring someone else and it went wrong.” Officer Linders speaks clearly, although his voice is low and rough. “A hit or drugs. There’s no other explanation. Who’d you get the cash from?” he asks me. It has to be the hundredth time they’ve asked about the cash. “Where did it all go wrong?”
“I already told you,” I start to say but don’t recognize my tired voice anymore as I lift my gaze to Officer Walsh’s and then to Linders’s. “I don’t have anything to say.”
Officer Walsh leans forward, exasperated. The metal legs grind against the floor as he repositions in his chair. “I saw how scared you were,” he says. Compassion wraps itself around every word and his gaze pleads with me to give him something. “I can help you.”
A second passes and then another.
I could let it all out. I could tell them the truth. I know I could. Maybe they’d give me a new name and send me off to some place where bad men can’t find me. Somewhere free of all these memories. A place where I didn’t have to think of my sister or my fucked up life.
Where I wouldn’t feel the presence of Jase Cross on every inch of surface I can see, smell, touch.
As I swallow, the click of the the heat switching on is all that can be heard in the room.
I don’t want to live in that world. In a world where Jase Cross doesn’t hover over me. Even if he scared the hell out of me. Recalling the sight of him sitting there on the edge of the tub, tilting his head to look me in the eyes, makes me close mine tight. I don’t know what happened, but I can’t leave him.
More than anything, the incessant ticking of the clock reminds me that every second that passes, I’m not with him. He’s not okay and I’m not with him.
Let me fall to whatever may await me, and I’ll crawl my way back up to Jase. I’ll find him or he’ll find me. And when that happens, he better fucking confess. I deserve to know what happened.
Strands of my hair wind around my finger as I ignore Officer Walsh. He hasn’t charged me yet, but I know he will. I’ll be charged with obstruction of justice for not giving them information about the blood on my shirt when it comes back confirmed from a human… or maybe with a name. God forbid it comes back as from a missing person. And who knows what I’ll be charged with because of the cash in the back of my car. I don’t even know what the offenses will be, since so many have been listed off in their speculation of what I’ve done.
But I’ll never say a word. And that’s how I know I care more for Jase than I should. And why he needs to tell me everything.
“There’s no helping anything. Whatever she says will be a lie.” The dark stare of Officer Linders makes my stomach curl.
Good cop, bad cop, I suppose. I manage to offer him a hint of a smile. My mouth moves on its own and I didn’t mean for it to do that. It just happens. As if I need to tempt fate any further.
“Let me make you an offer,” Officer Walsh starts and Linders huffs in disdain, rocking back in the chair and for the first time his gaze shifts from me. He’s young, very Italian in appearance although he doesn’t have an accent. He scratches at his coarse dark stubble as Officer Walsh draws my attention.
“I used to work for the FBI and I have some friends in town, looking into things.” There’s a sense of compassion and empathy in Cody Walsh’s voice that’s hypnotizing, like a lullaby that draws you in. “What I’m trying to tell you is that I have connections. I know what happened to your sister. I know Jase Cross has been seen at your residence.”