The first time should be special, Ben had said. Olivia supposed she should agree with him in theory, but she felt the expectation weigh on her heavily now. What if it wasn’t special? What if she messed up somehow, or said or did something embarrassing? What if she wasn’t good enough for Ben in some inexplicable way?
Because while she’d admitted she hadn’t had sex, she hadn’t been all that forthcoming about how little experience she truly had. A couple of kisses, that was all. She hadn’t let it bother her before; she was too focused. Now she felt her ignorance like a weight on her back, on her soul. Yes, she’d seen plenty of movies, read romance novels, had fantasies like any other normal woman. Of course she had. But it wasn’t the same as actually...
‘Are you sure you’re all right?’ the woman asked, and Olivia gave her a sickly sweet smile.
‘Perfect,’ she said, and grabbed the first bra her hand reached for off the rack.
Fifteen minutes later she left the shop with a plain black silk bra and matching pants. Nothing particularly romantic or sexy about either of them, and she had an equivalent pair back in her suite. If she’d been trying to accomplish something with her underwear purchase, she’d failed.
Back at her suite she tossed the bag onto a chair and ran a bath. Ben was picking her up in just under two hours, and already her stomach was writhing as if she’d swallowed snakes. Her hands shook as she emptied the bubble bath into the tub. Good grief, she needed to get a grip.
She’d managed, by sheer force of will, to calm herself a little by the time she was dressed and waiting for Ben to pick her up. She wore the black underwear she’d bought, because at least it was new, and a plain black shift dress that had tiny bits of diamante sewn into the gauzy fabric, so she sparkled when she moved. Understated, elegant, sophisticated. She hoped.
The doorbell rang and Olivia resisted the urge to wipe her damp palms down the sides of her dress. She took a deep breath, put a breezy smile on her face. Showtime.
‘Well, hello there.’ She let her smile turn flirty as she took in his outfit: a black button-down shirt open at the throat and grey trousers. Very sexy.
‘You look lovely.’ Ben leaned in to kiss her cheek, and Olivia closed her eyes as she breathed in the clean, woodsy scent of him. ‘You haven’t changed your mind?’ he murmured as he eased back, and her eyes flew open.
‘No.’
‘Good.’
‘Where are we going?’
‘We’re staying at The Chatsfield.’
‘Okay.’
He turned to her with a smile as they waited for the elevator. ‘Have you eaten in the restaurant before?’
‘Nope.’
‘First time for everything,’ he teased, and she shook her head, caught between amusement and embarrassment.
‘Those kinds of jokes are going to get really old, really fast.’
‘Yeah, I know. I’ll stop.’
Yet she liked this lighter side to Ben, Olivia decided as they stepped into the elevator and it soared upwards. She liked seeing him look happy and relaxed, because so often he didn’t. So often, she realised, he seemed taut with the tension of reining things in. Keeping himself under control.
She hoped he’d let go tonight.
The Chatsfield’s restaurant was on the floor below the pool, with a panoramic view of the city. It was exclusive and upmarket, just like the hotel, and nervously she wondered how she’d get through a three-course meal with Ben, all the while thinking about what was going to happen after.
‘Relax,’ Ben murmured, and she turned to him with a frown.
‘I’m not nervous.’
‘You’re not that good an actress, Olivia.’
‘Shut up.’
He just chuckled, and she found herself smiling, and somehow her nervousness trickled away. It was going to be okay. Maybe even great. Why not have high expectations?
The doors pinged open and Ben ushered her forward, one warm hand on her lower back.
Olivia stepped into the restaurant, blinking as she took in the empty tables glimmering under candlelight.
‘Where is everyone?’
‘I closed the restaurant.’
‘You—what?’
‘I closed the restaurant,’ he repeated easily. ‘Manager’s privileges. Anyway, the staff needed a break. They’ve been working hard catering to all these celebrities.’
Olivia gazed around the sea of tables, the room flickering with shadows cast from the candles on every one. Outside the lights of the city twinkled under an ebony sky. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly.
‘That’s quite a privilege. This restaurant is usually fully booked.’ And there had to be at least a dozen high-profile Hollywood types who were annoyed at having their reservations cancelled.