‘I don’t miss it exactly,’ she answered slowly. ‘But I miss feeling productive and useful sometimes.’
Lindsay nodded in sympathy before saying in a rush, ‘Look, I think I may have put my foot in it yesterday, which isn’t all that surprising, considering how bad I am at social situations. But when I mentioned not knowing that you and Leo were dating...’ She swallowed, a blush staining her pale cheeks. ‘Well, it’s none of my business whether you were dating or not. I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward.’
‘But you noticed that you did?’ Margo answered with an uncertain laugh.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘No, don’t be. It was a perfectly innocent question. And the truth is my relationship with Leo is...complicated.’
‘I can relate to that.’
‘Can you?’ Margo glanced at her sister-in-law with open curiosity. ‘Because from where I’m standing you and Antonios seem to have the fairytale.’
‘Oh, don’t say that!’ Lindsay cried, and Margo raised her eyebrows. ‘It used to seem like a fairytale,’ she explained. ‘Meeting the way we did in New York. Antonios sweeping me straight off my feet.’ Lindsay sighed and shook her head. ‘But life isn’t a fairytale, you know? Reality sets in. And when it did for Antonios and me, it was hard.’
‘How so?’
‘Did Leo tell you about my social anxiety?’
‘A bit...’
‘As soon as we were married Antonios whisked me off here and put me in charge of the household. He thought he was honouring me, but in truth it just terrified me. I’ve had social anxiety since I was a child—talking in front of crowds, being the centre of attention...it all makes me start to panic. And when I landed here...with all of Antonios’s sisters as well as his mother looking at me, measuring me...it was hard.’
‘But his sisters love you now,’ Margo remarked.
Lindsay smiled wryly. ‘That doesn’t mean they weren’t taken aback when Antonios showed up with me out of the blue.’
‘The same way Leo showed up with me,’ Margo admitted with a laugh. ‘Poor girls. They’ve had an awful lot of shocks.’
‘So why did you and Leo marry, if you don’t mind me asking? Were you dating...?’ Lindsay’s blush deepened. ‘Sorry, I’m being inexcusably nosy. But, if you don’t mind me saying so, you remind me a little bit of me when I came here. A little overwhelmed...a little lost.’
‘Do I?’ Margo could hear how stiff and stilted her voice sounded and busied herself organising the swatches of fabric, just to give herself a little time to order her thoughts.
‘Am I wrong?’ Lindsay asked quietly.
‘Not exactly. Coming here as Leo’s wife was overwhelming—especially considering the circumstances.’ She glanced down at her bump and Lindsay nodded her understanding. ‘I don’t have a lot of experience with big families or houses. I’ve pretty much been on my own my whole life.’
‘As have I,’ Lindsay said quietly.
Margo looked at her in surprise. ‘We seem to have quite a bit in common.’
‘Not least being married to difficult Marakaios men.’
They both laughed at that, and then Margo said seriously, ‘But Antonios seems to dote on you.’
‘Antonios can be stubborn and set in his ways. He tends not to see another person’s perspective unless it’s pointed out to him. Repeatedly.’ Lindsay softened this observation with a smile and added, ‘But I’m utterly in love with him, and he with me, and that makes all the difference.’
‘Yes, I’m sure it does,’ Margo murmured.
She thought of how she and Leo had made love last night, spending the whole night sleeping in each other’s arms. Was that love? It seemed like it, on the surface, but the fact remained that she still felt wary and guarded, and she thought Leo did too. They were both still holding back, both afraid to commit fully to their marriage... Or maybe Leo just didn’t want to. Maybe what they had was enough—was all he wanted.
And yet she knew she wanted more. She wanted the fairytale.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
A MONTH PASSED in wintry days spent with Margo decorating the nursery and managing the household, getting to know Leo’s sisters—and getting to know Leo.
They spent far more time together now than they ever had in their two years of dirty weekends and meals out. They chatted about everything—from politics to music and books, to places they’d like to visit. He was becoming as good a friend as he was a lover.
And yet she still felt that reticence in him, and in herself. They still hadn’t said I love you, hadn’t discussed anything about the future. Leo still hadn’t moved his things into her bedroom.