‘So what problem did his boss have with you?’
‘I wasn’t right for Tim’s image. He was going places, you see, within the firm. Lots of international travel, hosting dinners, that sort of thing. I didn’t quite fit in that picture.’
‘And so this Tim listened to his boss?’
‘Pretty much.’
‘He sounds like a total waste of space.’
‘Well, I loved him—or at least I thought I did.’ Yet she knew that what she felt for Aaron was even more than she’d ever felt for her former fiancé. How scary was that?’ ‘Anyway,’ she resumed, ‘when he broke it off, I was devastated. I hadn’t even told my family yet—I was waiting till we picked out the ring.’
Aaron cocked his head. ‘And you never told them, did you?’
Zoe blinked, surprised that he’d guessed. That he knew. ‘No, I didn’t. Because two days later Millie’s husband and daughter died in a car crash, and the last thing anyone needed to hear about was my sorry little drama.’
‘And after, later? Did you tell them then?’
Her throat tightened and she shook her head. ‘No.’
‘And you weren’t going to tell anyone about your pregnancy, were you? About what happened?’
‘You did that,’ Zoe said, an edge entering her voice again. ‘When you phoned Millie.’
‘I was worried about you and I wanted someone to be with you even if it couldn’t be me.’ He paused, his eyes dark. ‘Are you angry that I called her?’
‘No, I’m not angry. How can I be, when I know you just wanted to help?’ She sighed, shaking her head. ‘I’m just…embarrassed, really. Angry at myself for screwing up everything in my life.’ She blinked, nearly brought to tears by the raw admission.
Aaron was silent for a long moment, and then Zoe felt his hand wrap around the back of her neck, warm and strong. ‘You’re not screwing this up,’ he said softly. ‘This is something good.’
‘Yes,’ Zoe whispered, because she knew it was, even though she was still so afraid that it might all go wrong. That she would push too hard and Aaron would walk away. That he wouldn’t have enough to give and she’d be left empty-handed and broken-hearted.
‘I think you’re too hard on yourself,’ he whispered as he drew her inexorably closer. ‘And I think you don’t like admitting weakness or failure to anyone, even the people who love you. I know how that feels.’
‘I bet you do.’ He laughed softly, his lips a breath away from hers. And then he kissed her.
It was the first time he’d kissed her since that one night, and this was infinitely sweeter and more precious than anything that had happened before. His lips moved gently over hers, a reassurance that this was good. They were good together. Zoe put her hands on his shoulders and then slid her arms around his neck. Her breasts pressed against his chest and the contact was achingly, agonisingly pleasurable. Aaron deepened the kiss.
Gently he pushed her back onto the blanket, his hand sliding along her middle and then up to cup her breast. Zoe pushed back against him, craving the contact, their legs tangled amidst the detritus of their picnic. She could feel his arousal pressing against her, felt his fingers teasing her, sending arrows of pleasure shooting through her. And frustration, too, because she knew this couldn’t go anywhere—or at least not as far as her body desperately wanted.
‘I feel like a teenager,’ she murmured against his mouth. ‘You know I’m not cleared for sex yet, right?’
‘I know,’ Aaron admitted with a groan. ‘But I can’t resist touching you.’ He slid his hand from her breast down to her middle and then to the pulsing warmth between her thighs. ‘Okay?’ he murmured and she nodded, because it was more than okay. The pressure of his hand against her was exquisite, and as he moved his fingers with knowing and gentle precision she arched against him and gasped out a sudden, intense climax.
‘That was quick,’ Aaron said, a smile in his voice as he kissed her mouth.
‘It was, wasn’t it?’ Zoe agreed shakily. She felt dazed by her intense and immediate response to him, more than she’d ever experienced with anyone before. It almost scared her, how much she wanted him.
How much she loved him.
No, she couldn’t think like that. Not yet—maybe not ever, no matter how much she wanted to. How much she wanted him to think the same way.
With a smile she pushed Aaron onto his back. ‘Now your turn,’ she said softly, and his eyes widened.
‘You don’t have to…’
With a throaty, knowing laugh, she skimmed her hand down the length of his erection. ‘Oh, yes,’ she said. ‘I do.’
And then they didn’t talk any more, for there was nothing but the giving and receiving of pleasure, until they lay sated—mostly, anyway, Zoe thought wryly—in each other’s arms while the sun shone benevolently overhead.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘I’D SAY THAT physically you’re just about a hundred percent now,’ Dr Adams said with a smile. ‘But tell me how you feel.’
Zoe slid off the examining table. ‘I feel a hundred percent,’ she said firmly. She’d been back in New York for three days, and the doctor’s clean bill of health was music to her ears. At last she could be with Aaron as she wanted to be…as she was desperate to be ever since their precious few weeks on St Julian’s.
‘Have you considered counselling?’ Dr Adams asked. ‘Or therapy? The experience you had was traumatic, and there will be ongoing—’
‘I know that.’ She nodded, although she really didn’t want to talk about that now. ‘I work in therapy myself, so I understand that and I’m looking into it. I know it will take a long time to heal emotionally.’
‘We have resources, if you need them. A support group meets here at the hospital.’
‘Thank you,’ Zoe said. ‘I’ll look into it.’
As she left the hospital she had a spring in her step—and a fear in her heart. As pleased as she was about the doctor’s all-clear, she couldn’t help but feel nervous for what lay ahead. The last few weeks with Aaron had been wonderful…but it hadn’t been easy.
They’d spent two weeks on St Julian’s, which Zoe knew was an enormous amount of time for Aaron to be away from his work. He’d checked his phone and email often, and spent most afternoons tele-commuting while she’d lounged by the pool. But even with the constant pressures of work, there had been times—wonderful times—with just the two of them. Walks along the beach and candlelit dinners; long nights wrapped in each other’s arms and endless kisses and touching that just didn’t go quite far enough.
It had all been wonderful, but at the same time Zoe still sensed a distance in Aaron, a place he didn’t allow her—or anyone—access. In exasperation she’d once asked sarcastically, ‘Do you have any hobbies?’
To which he’d replied flatly, ‘No.’
The man was a machine. A machine who still didn’t want to be known or understood, at least not completely. How could a relationship survive in those kinds of conditions?
Millie had told her to give it time. Upon returning to New York, Zoe had moved in with Millie and Chase rather than go back to her lonely apartment. She wasn’t ready to move back in with Aaron—not that he’d even offered.
The night she’d got back Chase had made himself scarce; Millie had made margaritas and nachos—their snack of choice—and they’d both curled up on the sofa and had the kind of heart-to-heart they hadn’t had in years.
‘I’d be the first one to say I wasn’t sure about Aaron,’ Millie said bluntly. ‘About you and Aaron. From what Chase has told me, the guy seemed like a complete jerk—arrogant, autocratic, totally controlling.’
‘But?’ Zoe said, trying to smile. She knew there was a different man underneath that authoritative facade, but she didn’t know if she could trust him—or if that man could love her.
‘He clearly cares about you. And he obviously has wanted to do the right thing for you.’
‘And the baby?’ Zoe filled in. ‘That hardly counts now. And doing the right thing isn’t a foundation for a relationship.’
‘No,’ Millie answered. ‘But it shows the nature of his character. He’s honourable, Zoe. He’s good.’
‘That only goes so far.’ Zoe swallowed, her fears seeming to crowd her throat, making it hard to speak. ‘Anyway, maybe he just wanted to do the right thing because he felt guilty.’
Millie frowned. ‘You’ve said that before. What did he have to feel guilty about?’
Zoe hesitated, then decided she needed someone to confide in completely. ‘When I first told him I was pregnant, he offered me fifty thousand dollars to have an abortion.’
Millie was silent for a long moment. ‘I guess he changed his mind,’ she finally said.
‘I probably shouldn’t have even told you. He regretted it, and he said it was a bad decision. But—’
‘It’s hard to forget.’
She nodded. ‘I can’t help but think that it’s part of who he is—to leap to that conclusion, to even want that. And, even though he’s shown he’s different with me, he can be different, I’m not sure if that’s enough. If he can be different enough. Who’s the real man—the one who made that offer, or the one who said it was a mistake?’