‘OK, now, how about this one?’ Eliza held up a white one and Alessandra sniffed and sniffed, her little face screwing up in confusion.
‘It’s not the yellow one, is it? It smells different.’
‘You clever, clever girl!’ Eliza said. ‘It’s a white one. I tried to trick you, but you’re too clever by half. Well done.’
Alessandra was grinning from ear to ear. ‘I like this game.’
Leo looked down at Eliza’s warm smile. It made that stiff part of his chest loosen another notch. He imagined her with her own child—how natural she would be, how loving and nurturing. It wasn’t just the trained teacher in her, either. He was starting to realise it was an essential part of her nature. She genuinely loved children and wanted to bring out the best in them. No wonder she had been recognised as a teacher of excellence. She cared about their learning and achievement. He could see the joy and satisfaction on her face as she worked with Alessandra. Sure, he was paying her big money to do it, but he suspected it wasn’t the money that motivated her at all.
Why couldn’t she have been Alessandra’s mother?
‘You’re scarily good at this game,’ Eliza said. ‘I’ll have to be on my toes to think of new ones to challenge you.’ She got to her feet and took one of Alessandra’s hands in hers. ‘We’d better get you inside, out of this hot sun. I don’t want you to get sunburnt.’
Leo moved forward to scoop his daughter up to carry her back to the villa but she seemed content to walk, albeit gingerly, by Eliza’s side. He watched as she toddled alongside Eliza, her little hand entwined with hers, her footsteps awkward and cautious, but, with Eliza’s gentle encouragement, she gradually gained a little more confidence.
‘Four steps, Alessandra,’ Eliza said as they got to the flagstone steps leading to the back entrance of the villa. ‘Do you want to count them as we go?’
‘One…two…three…four!’
Eliza ruffled her hair with an affectionate hand. ‘What did I tell you? You’re an absolute star. You’ll soon be racing about the place without any help at all.’
Marella appeared from the kitchen as they came in. ‘I’ve been baking your favourite cookies, Alessandra. Why don’t we let Papà and Eliza have a moment while we have a snack?’
‘Grazie, Marella,’ Leo said. ‘There are a few things I’d like to talk to Eliza about. Give us ten minutes.’
‘Sì, signor.’
Leo met Eliza’s gaze once the housekeeper had left with his daughter. ‘It seems I was right in selecting you as a suitable stand-in for Kathleen. You’ve achieved much more in a day with Alessandra than she has in months.’
‘I’m sure Kathleen is totally competent as a nanny.’
‘That is true, but you seem to have a natural affinity with Alessandra.’
‘She’s a lovely child.’
‘Most of the people who deal with her find her difficult.’
‘She has a disability,’ she said. ‘It’s easy to focus on what she can’t do, but in my experience in teaching difficult children it is wiser to focus on what they can do. She can do a lot more than you probably realise.’
A frown pulled at his brow. ‘Are you saying I’m holding her back in some way?’
‘No, of course not,’ she said. ‘You’re doing all the right things. It’s just that it’s sometimes hard to see what she needs from a parent’s perspective. You want to protect her but in protecting her you may end up limiting her. She has to experience life. She has to experience the dangers and the disappointments; otherwise she will always live in a protective bubble that has no relation to the real world. She needs to live in the real world. She’s blind but that doesn’t mean she can’t live a fulfilled and satisfying life.’
He moved to the other side of the room, his hand going to his neck, where a golf ball of tension was gnawing at him. ‘What do you suggest I do that I’m not already doing?’
‘You could spend more time with her, one on one. She needs quality time with you but also quantity time.’
Guilt prodded at him. He knew he wasn’t as hands on as he could be. No one had played with him as a child. His mother had been too busy pursuing her own interests while his father had worked long hours to try and keep his company from going under. Leo wanted to be a better parent than his had been, but Alessandra’s blindness made him feel so wretchedly inadequate. It had paralysed him as a parent. What if he did or said the wrong thing? What if he upset her or made her feel guilty for having special needs? Giulia, in her distress, had said unforgivable things in the hearing of Alessandra. He had tried to make up for it, but there were times when he wondered if it was already too late.