‘But I’d like to,’ she said, reaching for him, her soft little hand sending shivers up and down his spine. ‘You pleasured me that way. I want to learn how to do it properly.’
‘Did you do it with—?’
‘No,’ she said quickly, her gaze moving out of reach of his. ‘I only ever used my hand.’
Leandro inched up her chin again. ‘You don’t need to feel bad about that. You should only ever do what you’re comfortable with. No one should force or pressure you into doing something that doesn’t feel right.’
She stroked her hand down the length of his shaft. ‘I want to do it to you.’
His heart rate soared. His blood quickened. His skin peppered with anticipatory goose bumps. ‘You don’t have to.’
‘I want to,’ she said, sliding down his body, her warm breath teasing him as she positioned herself.
He drew in a sharp breath as she sent her tongue down him from the tip to the base. Her warm breath puffed over him as she came back up to circle her tongue around the head, her lips closing over him and then drawing on him. Even with a condom the sensations were electrifying, the sight of her so stimulating he had to fight hard for control. He tried to ease away to give her the chance to take a break but she hummed against him and held on, her mouth taking him over the edge into mind-blowing bliss.
He disposed of the condom once he could move again. His body was so satiated he felt like someone had undone every knob of his spine. Waves of lassitude swept through him, making him realise how long it had been since he had truly relaxed.
His sexual relationships had been pleasurable in a clinical, rather perfunctory way. He always made sure his partners got what they needed but sometimes he felt as if he was just going through the motions: drink, dinner, sex. It had become as simple and impersonal as that. He didn’t linger over deep and meaningful conversations. He didn’t spend the whole night with anyone. He didn’t allow himself to get that close. Close enough to want more. Close enough to need more.
But looking at Miranda beside him made him realise how much he was missing. His life was full of work and activity and yet...and yet deep down he felt something was missing. He had thought financial security would be enough. He had thought career success would satisfy him. But somehow it just made the empty space inside him seem bigger.
There was a canyon of dissatisfaction inside him. It echoed with the loneliness he felt, especially during the long hours of the night. He knew what would bridge it but he dared not risk it. He couldn’t be part of a long-term relationship because he couldn’t allow himself to risk letting someone down the way he had let Rosie and his parents down. How could he ever envisage a life with someone? A life with children was out of the question. How could he ever trust himself to keep them safe? He would always live with the gut-churning fear he might not be able to protect them. He had been responsible for so much heartache.
He couldn’t bear to inflict more on anyone else.
Miranda lifted her fingertip to his face, tracing the line of his frown. ‘Did I disappoint you?’
Leandro captured her hand and pressed his mouth to it. ‘Why would you think that?’
‘You went so still and quiet and you were frowning... I thought I must’ve done something wrong...’
He stroked his fingertip down the length of creamy cheek. ‘You blew me away, literally and figuratively.’
Her eyes brightened and a smile tilted up the corners of her mouth. ‘I did?’
He pressed her back down on the bed, hooking one of her legs over his. ‘And now it’s my turn to do the same to you.’
* * *
Miranda woke to bright sunlight pouring through the windows of Leandro’s bedroom. She turned her head to the pillow beside her but, apart from the indentation of where his head had been, the space was empty. She sat up and brushed her sleep-and sex-tousled hair out of her face. When she swung her legs over the bed she felt a faint twinge of discomfort. Her inner muscles had experienced quite a workout last night. Leandro’s love-making had been passionate and breathtakingly exciting and her body was still humming with aftershocks of pleasure.
It occurred to her it might not be so easy to put her fling with Leandro to one side when she returned to England. Would she blush every time she saw him, knowing he had pleasured every single inch of her body? That he alone knew exactly what made her cry out with ecstasy? That he alone knew what she looked like totally naked?
Would he look at her differently? Would he treat her differently? Would others notice? How on earth would she keep it a secret from Jaz? Or would Jaz guess as soon as she saw her?