‘And if I have?’
She looked at his mouth. ‘Is it...different...? With me, I mean?’
He nudged up her chin with a blunt fingertip, locking his gaze with hers. ‘Different in what way?’
Jaz wasn’t sure why she was fishing so hard for compliments. He had made it clear how long their fling was going to last. Just because he had made love to her several times tonight didn’t mean anything other than he had a high sex drive. He was, after all, a man in his sexual prime. But their love-making was so different from anything she had experienced with other partners. It was more exciting, more satisfying, more addictive, which was a problem because she couldn’t afford to get too used to having him. ‘I don’t know...more intense?’
He slid his hand along the side of her face to splay his fingers through her hair. It was an achingly tender hold that made Jaz’s heart squeeze as if someone had crushed it in a vice. Could it be possible he was coming to care for her? Really care for her? Was that why their intimacy was so satisfying? Did their physical connection reflect a much deeper one that had been simmering in the background for years?
But she didn’t love him.
Not the slavish way she had as a teenager. She was an adult now. Her feelings for him were mature and sensible. She knew his faults and limitations. She didn’t whitewash his personality to make him out to be anything he was not. She was too sensible to hanker after a future with him because he wasn’t the future type. He was the ‘for now’ type.
Falling in love with Jake Ravensdale once had been bad enough. To do it twice would be emotional suicide.
‘It is different,’ Jake said. ‘But that doesn’t mean I want it to continue longer than we agreed.’
‘I’m not asking for an extension,’ Jaz said. ‘I can’t afford to waste my time having a long-term fling with someone who doesn’t want the same things I want. I want to get on with my life and find my soul mate. I want to start a family before I’m thirty.’
His frown hadn’t quite gone away but now it was deeper than ever. ‘You shouldn’t rush into your next relationship. Take your time getting to know them. And what’s the big rush on having kids? You’re only twenty-three. You’ve got heaps of time.’
‘I don’t want to miss out on having kids,’ Jaz said. ‘I know so many women who’ve left it too late or circumstances have worked against them. I can’t imagine not having a family. It’s what I’ve wanted since I was a little girl.’
He moved away from her and got off the bed, scraping a hand through his hair before dropping it back by his side.
Jaz chewed at her lower lip. ‘Did I just kill the mood?’
He turned around with a smile that didn’t involve his eyes. ‘It’s been a long day. I’m going to have a shower and hit the sack. Don’t wait up.’
* * *
When Jake came out of the bathroom after his shower half an hour later, Jaz wasn’t in the bed. In fact, she wasn’t in the suite. He frowned as he searched the room, even going so far as to check under the bed. Where the hell was she? He glanced at her bag on the luggage rack. She obviously hadn’t checked out of the hotel as her things were still here. Although, come to think of it, he wouldn’t put it past her to flounce off, leaving him to pack her things. What was she up to? Their conversation earlier had cut a little close to the bone...for him, that was. Why did she have to carry on about marriage and kids all the time? She was a baby herself. Most twenty-three-year-olds were still out partying and having a good time.
But no, Jaz wanted the white picket fence and a bunch of wailing brats. What would happen to her stellar career as a wedding designer then? She would be doing more juggling than a circus act.
And as to finding her soul mate... Did she really believe such a thing existed? There was no such thing as a perfect partner. She was deluding herself with romantic notions of what her life could be like.
Well, he had news for her. It would be just like everyone else’s life—boring and predictable.
Jake called her number but it went straight through to voice mail. He paced about the suite, feeling more and more agitated. The weird thing was he spent hours of his life in hotel rooms, mostly alone. He rarely spent the whole night with anyone. It was less complicated when it came to the ‘morning after the night before’ routine.
But every time he looked at that bed he thought of how it had felt with Jaz, her arms and legs wrapped around him and her hot little mouth clamped to his. He couldn’t stop thinking about the lift either. He probably wouldn’t be able to get into one ever again without thinking of taking Jaz up against that mirrored wall. His blood pounded at the memory of it. He had been close to doing it without a condom. He still didn’t know how he’d got it on in time. He had been as worked up as a teenager on his first ‘sure thing’ date.