When I nodded, unsure where he was going with it, he smiled. “Thank you, moye serdste. Now, think of our boys needing their vaccinations. They’re too young to know what’s going on, but we still hold them and distract them from it, correct?”
“Of course, I don’t want them to see what’s happening.”
“Me neither. But they still have to have them, so we do our best to distract them. Then we cuddle and look after them afterward.”
I was trying to figure out the relevance of this to what I’d asked, but I was drawing a blank. “What does that have to do with what happened?”
Hooking his hands behind my knees, he created a subtle intimacy to our positions. “I knew something was coming at you that would hurt you, but I didn’t know when or what it was.
“So, to protect you from it, I created a distraction that left you unaware of what the real problem was until it happened. Although,” he growled, looking at my shoulder, “if I’d known it would be a fucking bomb that would endanger yours and our sons' lives, I would have acted much sooner.”
“What about what you’ve done to annul the fake marriage and get to Donna and her dad? Did you only do it because of the boys?”
“No,” he said firmly. “I was always coming back to you, and had done everything I could to keep a divide between Donna and myself.”
Looking at the desk, his earlier moves started to make sense.
“Exactly, there will be none between us ever. But to get back to your question, I spent the time away from you investigating, and doing what needed to be done to ensure both of our families were safe. Dad is filling Bruce in on it just now, and introducing him to the extra men we paid to monitor the safety of the Club.”
“You had guys inside?”
“They were already members who have loyalties to the Bratva as well, so we paid them extra to work for us inside the Club.”
“Who?”
“Sniper, Ranger, and Road are the ones you’ll be most familiar with.”
“Holy shit,” I breathed, the names shocking me. “They’ve been in for years.”
“Yes, and their loyalties are to the Club, which was why they were willing to work with us to keep it secure.”
“How did a bomb get in then?”
“I’ll answer that in a moment, but I want to finish answering your previous question. As you know, we used the marriage to distract and diffuse any of the plans Azarov and his pals had for the Club and ourselves.
“Unfortunately, Donna and Makar felt they could force our hands by pursuing some of the plans when it became clear I had no intentions of honoring the marriage in the normal way. What they didn’t know was that the marriage hadn’t dissuaded the ‘friends’ they’d made. They continued whatever they were plotting, but kept the Azarovs on ice.”
I groaned and rubbed my forehead. “I really don’t like them.”
“That feeling is mutual,” he murmured, gently moving my hand aside, and using his thumb to massage the area I’d been focusing on. “I’m trying to do this in a way that doesn’t cause you more stress, baby, but you need to understand details like that.”
Blowing out a breath, I gave him a small smile. “I know, and I appreciate it.”
“Anyway, with their feelings hurt, the Azarovs were a weak link for their buddies, so they became useful again. It also enabled us to start tracking who they were in contact with.”
The way his face hardened as he said it made my stomach sink. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”
“Some of the worst. However, you’re safe, and that’s what matters most. But you can also see that I had every intention of coming back to you. I just had to remove you from the danger to make sure I could keep you safe, like you are now. And to answer your last question,” he murmured.
“We know the bomb was placed under the truck while it was off Club grounds, and it was an Azarov plan, not one their friends devised. Admittedly, the boys’ births tipped my hand for us to move more quickly after it, but that would have happened after they started killing people and leaving messages for us.”
Swallowing loudly, I didn’t say what I said next to hurt him. I said it because it was true. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you.”
His thumb stopped moving, and his eyes dropped to mine. “I know that, but the fact you’re still breathing and your heart’s still beating, makes me not regret my choices. I’d rather face life with you resenting me for keeping you alive, than one where you’re no longer here to feel anything.”
What he’d said hit me hard, and I didn’t realize I was crying until the thumb of his free hand swiped my cheek.