He hates himself. He believes I will hate him if I really know everything about him. He’s wrong.
Still, I grab a tissue, clean up, and scoot up to a sitting position, knees to my chest. When Adrian exits the bathroom, he’s in his jeans, holding the robe and a towel. The wall is still there between us, but space is another story. He closes what is between us and sits down in front of me. He offers me the towel and I take it and set it aside. He slides the robe around me and slips my arms into the sleeves, but before I can fully close it, his hands are behind my knees. “Don’t read into what I said, Pri.”
“You know the old saying,” I say. “Drunk people and people about to have orgasms speak the truth.”
His lips quirk, softening the hard lines of his face. “I’ve never heard that saying.”
“Well, now you have,” I point out. “You have to stop hating yourself for me.”
“I’m protecting you.”
“And that’s exactly where the trouble starts. Stop protecting me.”
“I can’t do that, Pri. I’m not even going to try.”
I catch his hands, holding onto him as if he’s running out of the door. And on some level, I think he may be. “Why would you let Waters know things about you that I don’t?” I gently but fiercely demand. “That gives him strength. That makes us weak. Just tell me everything and get it over with.”
“Not tonight.”
He means never, I think. “You’ll have to tell me to testify.”
His lips press together and he looks skyward, torment in his very existence and if I’m honest, it was there from the very moment I met him. Torment is a part of him. It lives inside him. It has become his own personal monster. “Adrian,” I whisper softly.
He cups my face and looks at me. “I don’t know if I have it in me to be without you anymore.”
“Then don’t,” I say. “Don’t.”
His reply is to kiss me and murmur, “We need to rest. We’ll talk tomorrow just as I promised.”
I want to argue. I want to push him, but I’m aware of how late it is. I’m aware of the weariness in my mind and body, he must feel as well. I know those things lead us to no place good. And I fear tomorrow doesn’t, either. I want tonight with him.
He pulls back the blanket on the opposite side of me and then he’s maneuvered me underneath it and makes fast work of removing the robe again. He pulls me in front of him, my back to his front, and then leans over and shuts the light off. He still has on his jeans. As if he knows that’s what I’m thinking, he says, “I won’t let you sleep if I take them off.”
“I’m not sure I care,” I whisper.
“You will tomorrow.” He strokes my hair. “Everything I do is to protect you, Pri. Don’t forget that.”
My lashes lower with the impact of those words.
Tomorrow, we will talk. Tomorrow, I won’t like what he has to say. But I’m already feeling the calm, stronger me rise to the surface, and therefore, I know what Adrian does not. Tomorrow, I will kick his self-hatred to the curb. And when I do, we will kick Waters to the curb. We will win.
Chapter Nineteen
ADRIAN
My eyes open with the sound of my cell phone buzzing on the hotel nightstand. For just a moment, there is nothing but morning light and Pri still pressed close to me. Soft, sweet, strong, brave Priscilla Miller. The woman rocks my world. I lean in to nuzzle her neck but stop short.
Still, the phone buzzes, and while I resist the interruption, I know I can’t ignore that call, not when we’re hunted by assassins. As if proving that point, Pri’s damn phone starts ringing as well, from the bathroom, I think. She moans and murmurs, “Make it stop.”
“I wish I could, baby,” I reply, kissing her neck and rolling away from her to grab my phone.
It stops ringing and starts all over again. I glance at the caller ID to find Blake’s number. Pri snatches up the robe at the end of the bed and stands up, offering me a perfect view of her even more perfect heart-shaped ass. My cock is instantly standing at alert and yet I answer the damn call with a, “Morning, boss.”
“I don’t think you’ve ever called me boss,” he says. “Interesting.”
Pri disappears into the bathroom and I glance at the clock that reads eight AM. “Don’t start psychoanalyzing me this early in the fucking morning.” I sit up, scrubbing my jaw, still in the jeans I wore to bed. Last night, that decision made sense. In the morning light, when I have to have tough conversations with Pri, not so much.