I know you didn’t think I was serious when I asked you to come stay with me in Arizona, but I was. So I wanted to say it again and ask you again if you would consider coming.
We don’t even have to share a room—there is a guest bedroom with a bathroom and double bed, so we can go as friends and perhaps leave as…
Better friends.
I want to get to know you with no expectations.
We are in this for a lifetime, and I think it would be the best thing for all three of us if we are friends. Maybe you’ll consider letting me in with the possibility of more.
But first, baby steps—no pun intended.
I am enclosing the key to the house I’ve rented in Goodyear, the city where we prepare for the season, and it’s yours if you want it. If you don’t, just hand it back to me and I won’t say a word. I won’t push or question you about it.
I palm the key in my hand; it’s grown warm from my body heat. It’s gold and worn from years of use, and I stare at it before clutching it in my palm.
In my heart of hearts, I know what I’m going to do; I’m going to go with him or meet him there because he’s right—we should get to know one another on a deeper level. Not just this surface bullshit where we go to dinner a few times and ask the same mundane questions all people ask.
Plus, we have to figure out what the hell we’re going to do with this baby. Where it’s going to sleep, if I’m going to breastfeed, what strollers we’re going to need.
Oh my god.
What hospital will I deliver at?
I haven’t finished the letter. Flipping it over, I begin the second page.
My name is Mateo José Espinoza. I was born in Illinois and raised in the suburbs. I’ve never wanted to do anything but play baseball, but if I wasn’t playing ball, I’d probably be an architect, or I’ve always wanted to open a steakhouse, but what professional athlete doesn’t? LOL.
You already know I have six sisters, and I can honestly say I don’t regret never having a brother. My dad was the rock of our family, and I’ve looked up to him my entire life even though he works so hard he’s barely around.
I like steak and seafood and my mother’s enchiladas. I love dogs and am afraid of cats, and most small lizards. They creep me the fuck out.
The last vacation I went on was Cozumel, Mexico, while I was on a cruise with my family; we do one at least once a year when I’m done with the season.
I’m telling you all this because I want you to get to know me. I come from the type of close-knit family that is going to welcome you with open arms…once the initial shock wears off. LOL.
I’ve been praying about this and I know this is the course I’m supposed to be set on. Not to sound sappy or religious or loco, but don’t you think we were sent to each other for a reason? I’m sorry you weren’t planning for this, but I’m not sorry I wasn’t wearing a condom, because then where would we be?
I will do right by you in all the ways that matter.
I promise, True Wallace, I will not let you down.
And now I’m crying.
Tears stream down my face.
I will not let you down.
I feel like I’ve let Mateo down already from the weeks and weeks and weeks of hiding from him, guilt eating at me, chipping away at the thrilling feelings I’ve had for him the past week. The last few days of letting him inside my world a little at a time…
You are a horrible human, True Wallace.
But he knows now—you told him!
That doesn’t stop the shame from coming.
You are going to make it up to him by allowing him to get to know you and be a part of your life.
“Hey.”
My brother is standing at the bedroom door, dressed in his pajamas—or what men consider pajamas: track pants and an oversized hoodie. Bare feet.
“Oh jeez, you scared me.” I damn near jump off the bed. “I thought you would be at Chandler’s tonight.”
“No. It doesn’t feel right leaving you alone.”
That is appalling. “Tripp, you cannot put your life on hold because your sister is staying at your house.”
“My pregnant sister.”
Does he have to be the master of the obvious every damn chance he gets?
“I’m pregnant, not an invalid. You don’t have to stay home to protect me—I’m fine.”
His keen eyes don’t miss a detail. “Were you crying?”
I can’t lie. “Yes, but they’re happy tears.”
If I was reading his mind, I would hear him saying, You expectant mothers are so hormonal. Women are foreign to my brother anyway; it’s a miracle he can maintain a healthy relationship. And his relationship with his new girlfriend is healthy, from what I’ve seen. He’s more of a team player than I ever imagined he’d be.