“Thank you.”
“What makes you interested in Metro PD?” The officer gave him an appraising look.
“Sir, I retired from the navy a little over a year ago. During the two years before that, I lost eight of my men.” Admitting this felt a lot like swallowing crushed glass, but it was the truth. And his fear that their loss represented a failure of his leadership was something he’d been thinking a lot about the past week. Because of something Tara had said.
I don’t want to let fear and anxiety rule the rest of my life.
He’d replayed every part of their conversation over and over again in his head, and slowly that declaration began to stand out to him.
Because hadn’t he been doing the same thing? His fear that he was bad for the EOD community. That he’d let them down. That if he stayed, he’d lead even more men to get hurt or killed.
Fuck, Tara had nearly died and managed to beat her fears. And he knew without knowing that she’d lost people she cared about, too. Because that was a cost of war that every single service member paid. But still she kept fighting.
Now it was time for him to fight. For himself. And so he could do it for Tara.
She thought he was worth fighting for—maybe it was time he started to believe that, too. Because he sure as hell knew that she was worth the fight.
Jesse continued, “At the time, I didn’t have enough distance from those losses to understand that I hadn’t caused them. This last year has given me perspective. It’s made me see that every one of those men understood the danger and was prepared to sacrifice, just as I was. I currently work at a commercial diving outfit with some great people. I like the work. But it’s not my passion. Being the wall between bad people and their dangerous weapons and our community—that’s what I’ve dedicated most of my life to. And it’s what I realized I still feel passionate about.”
The words spilled from him like a revelation. And to him, they were. Because somehow in the midst of absolute heartbreak, he’d found a piece
of himself again. And fuck if Tara hadn’t given that to him—along with so much else.
The officer made some notes as Jesse talked. “Your field has the tendency to chew people up and spit them out.”
“That’s for sure, sir.”
“Tell me about some of your special warfare training.”
Jesse detailed the schools he’d gone to, the special training he’d completed, and gave an overview of some of the ops he’d been a part of, wishing he knew what the magic words were to get the man to say “you’re hired,” even though he knew that wasn’t happening today no matter what. Like the military, law enforcement had layers of testing and screening before decisions were made.
After making some additional notes, the man put down the iPad, leaned back in his chair, and laced his fingers. “It’s not often we get a candidate with quite your level of experience, not just EOD but underwater EOD, too. It goes without saying that we’d love to see you progress through the application process. You’re aware that there’s an upcoming opening on our bomb squad?”
Jesse nodded, more of that dangerous hope crowding into his chest.
“Would you be available next Wednesday to take the required online tests for our Experienced Officer Program?”
“Yes.” Jesse would talk to Boone as soon as he was done here to get the day off.
“Assuming you perform well on those, we’d have you attend one of our upcoming Prospect Days where you’d take the physical ability test, complete the screening process, along with fingerprinting, a polygraph, and medical and psychological evaluations.”
All SOP—standard operating procedure. “Understood.”
“It can then take anywhere from a few days to a month for the entirety of your application to be reviewed.”
A month. A rock took root in Jesse’s gut. But it was better than no chance at all. “Yes, sir.”
“To get just a little ahead of ourselves, our Experienced Officer Transition Program is an accelerated training at the Metropolitan Police Academy. Next one starts in April so this is opportune timing for the upcoming opening. There are separate SOD trainings you’d need, but those could be performed concurrently with an assignment to both the special tactics branch or the bomb squad.”
Okay, the fact that Officer Landers was talking about these assignments as if they were likely placements felt like more reason to hope. Didn’t it? Fuck, Jesse was almost restless with the need to get all of this underway. “I’m eager to get the process started as fast as I can.” Understatement of the damn century right there.
The officer stood and extended his hand. They shook. “Then they’ll see you Wednesday at the testing center.”
Now all Jesse had to do was nail every one of these tests like they were an op and his life depended on it.
Because to him, it did.
* * * *