The bullet had gone straight through the meat of Sam’s bicep, missing the bone entirely. It was good news, and the doctor assured Slider that Sam would make a full recovery.
“You were very brave tonight, Sam,” Slider said, trying to give him the attention he deserved, trying to force his focus to remain right here in the moment with his son. “I’m only sorry you ever had to experience something like that.”
Sam shook his head. “Cora was the brave one. She warned us. She knocked me down. It would’ve been so much worse without what she did.”
The kid wasn’t wrong, and it made Slider’s heart clench so hard he couldn’t catch his breath, so he just nodded.
“Everything would be so much worse without Cora,” Sam said, his voice cracking on her name and tears falling. “Dad, I love her.” Sam’s whole face crumpled and a sob ripped out of him.
Slider sat on the bed and pulled his son into his arms. “I know, Sam. I know. We just gotta stay strong for her now. She needs us, you know?”
Crying, Sam clutched at Slider’s shoulder with his good hand and nodded his head. “I know. This is m-my f-fault,” he wailed.
The sound of the boy’s pain threatened to break what was left of Slider’s heart. “No, Sam. Nothing about this was your fault.”
“If she hadn’t tried to protect me . . .”
“That was all Cora,” Slider said, feeling the truth of it down deep. “That’s just who she is. You couldn’t have kept her from protecting you.”
“But Mom was my fault,” Sam rasped.
The shock of the subject change was so abrupt, Slider almost felt like he’d walked into a pole. “What?”
“Mom . . . you’re gonna hate me.” Sam heaved a shaky breath, then another, and another, trying to calm his tears.
Coming from his son, and knowing how his own father had felt about him, that word was like a kick in the gut. Slider leaned down to look his son in the eyes, needing him to know, needing him to believe. “I could never, ever hate you. What would I possibly have to be mad at you about? Your mom had cancer, Sammy.” He hadn’t used the nickname in years, since before Kim died, but it felt right, just then.
“I . . . I knew . . . about Mom,” he said, his voice shaking so much his teeth almost chattered.
“Knew what . . . ?” Slider’s gut twisted as realization dawned. “What did you know? You can tell me. I promise I won’t get mad.”
Sam’s eyes were so shattered when he looked up. “I knew about the man she saw. I caught them, once. And once after that she took me to see him.”
White-hot rage curled in Slider’s chest. Not at Sam, but at Kim. For her infidelity, for the years he’d lost to his shame and grief, for her planning to leave their kids. And now for this—for putting the knowledge of her betrayal on her son’s too-small, too-young, too-innocent shoulders. Slider blew out a breath. “None of that was your fault, either, Sam. Those were choices your mom made that she never should’ve laid on you.”
“B-but I . . . I should’ve told you, Dad. And I’m so, so sorry I didn’t.” His tears started again.
Slider gently cradled Sam’s head against his chest and pressed a kiss to his hair. “You listen to me, Sam. I love you. Nothing could ever change that. You don’t owe me any apologies, and you never should’ve felt like you had to choose between us. I’m sorry.”
Sam’s good arm came around him tight. “I love you, Dad, so much.”
When was the last time Sam had hugged him, talked to him about how he felt, or told him he loved him? It was like some wall had come down between them, and Slider was going to make sure it never, ever went back up.
“I love you, too.” God, how light Slider’s heart would be if only Cora were okay, too.
“Did you know I interviewed Cora for school?” Sam whispered after a long while.
“Oh yeah?”
“Know what she told me?”
Slider forced a deep breath. “What’s that, Sammy?”
“That in five years she hoped she’d be in college, married, own a dog, and maybe even be a mom.” Sam lifted his gaze to Slider’s, and those little brown eyes were entirely open with want. “If she . . . if she’s okay, after this . . . maybe we could be the ones . . .” He shrugged with his good shoulder.
Slider heard what Sam didn’t say just then, because he’d said it once before.
Cora should have a family.
Slider gave a quick nod and blinked away the sudden sting behind his eyes. Because his boys wanted Cora Campbell in their lives as much as Slider did. “Yeah,” he managed, his heart torn between hope and despair. “Yeah, maybe we could.”