Not that sleep came easy. She could have blamed it on her micronap earlier, or the fact that violent forces could stumble on them at any minute. Except she knew the real cause of her restlessness sat a few feet away. Jose. The feel of his arms around her lingered. His unexpected hug had rocked her to her toes, making her question all of her so-called resolutions to stay away from him forever. Even trying to clear the air had her heart in her throat and she’d balked.
She’d held strong against the urge to contact him for the past month because she’d known seeing him would hurt. A lot. There’d been no way to foresee how much. She needed to accept there would be no easy break-off, no way to clear regrets. She needed to move on. She wasn’t fool enough to think she could change him. He said he didn’t want to settle down. He absolutely did not want children because of his own messed up childhood with an alcoholic mother. Because of his fears about staying sober himself. Even though he’d been dry for five years, he was convinced he couldn’t risk having kids.
Nothing she said had changed his mind, and she couldn’t keep lying to herself. Whether he’d been telling the truth or concocting an excuse he knew would make her run, he’d pushed her away and he’d meant it.
She wrapped her heart up again, as tightly as she wrapped her body in the patterned fabric, tracing her fingers along the scripted border. She would keep up her guard when she was with Jose. But here, in her dreams, she could think back to those early days after they’d met, the days when she’d dared to hope there could be a future for them…
***
Stella had been on her fair share of dates in her life, but this first date with Jose definitely ranked as the most unique.
He’d invited her to go with him on a long distance trip to the “zoo” as casually as if they’d been home in the United States rather than in Africa. As she sat beside Jose on a rocky ledge overlooking a jungle waterfall, she had to admit Queen Elizabeth National Park was a little more than a zoo.
In the week since she’d rescued Jose from the Gulf of Aden, they’d both been tied up with work. He’d been instrumental in the final takedown of a local pirate ship. She’d worked debriefs with the CIA.
She’d been damn proud of how well she’d focused on her job even with the distraction of heated glances exchanged with the sexiest man she’d ever met. Then she’d gone to her quarters on the local base six days after they’d met and found him sitting on the floor outside her room. But rather than hit on her, he’d asked her out on a date.
An old-fashioned, so damn sweet request that she’d melted.
The next day, they’d slipped away on a helicopter to Uganda, to Queen Elizabeth National Park for the weekend. She wasn’t even sure how he’d arranged for the chopper transport, and she decided she didn’t need to know. For the moment, she could simply go with the flow. She was glad for the date to escape the sense of failure that she hadn’t learned anything new yet about what happened to her mom.
And most of all? Finally, she could spend time with Jose “Cuervo” James, take time to discover if there was more to the attraction than just lust. Although with the hiking pace he was setting, neither of them would have energy for much of anything at the end of the day.
Four miles into their trek at the park, she’d learned the man had endless energy away from work as well. And patience. He sat with her on a rocky ledge near a waterfall, watching the wildlife. She scoured the trees with buttress roots protruding, somewhat wary of the snakes and other beasties hiding in the verdant rain forest, but the glittering view was well worth any tugging wariness. The shady spot provided relief from the heat while she went mellow, soaking in the view.
How could one man pour so much energy into sitting still? Without moving a muscle, he positively hummed with more vitality than most radiated while running a marathon. Minutes ticked by while she watched him watching the monkeys and chimpanzees swing from branch to branch.
His eyes slid over to her. “What?”
She smiled back, seeing the attraction she felt echoed in his eyes. “I’m just intrigued by how intently you’re studying the monkeys.”
“They’re cool dudes.” He pointed toward the trees growing together with linked limbs. “For me it’s like how others ‘people watch’ at the mall. I enjoy figuring out their different personalities, their quirks, their cliques. It’s always different.”
A monkey stole another’s banana and took off swinging from limb to limb. Stella laughed, the sound floating out, echoed by a baboon hanging from one arm.
“So, do you come to Queen Elizabeth National Park often?” she asked, loving the thrill of discovery, of learning even seemingly insignificant details about his life.
“Actually, this is my first time here.” His smile reached his eyes, glinting like the sunlight refracting off the waterfall. “But I do a lot of nature hikes through national parks wherever I travel.”
“Clearly you’re active, given your job.”
His eyes slid over her, lingering just long enough to be complimentary without turning smarmy. “You’re no slouch yourself—given your job.”
“We could compare PT scores.” She tapped his chest just over the Boston Marathon logo on his T-shirt. The well-worn cotton carried the heat of him, and she ached to flatten her palm against his heartbeat. “But I would wager yours beat mine. I’m a code breaker, not a superhero.”
He closed his hand over hers, holding and lowering. Not letting go. “Can we stop with the superhero stuff? I’m just a guy out with a girl on a date.”
“A date in Africa, complete with a helicopter ride.” And hand holding. “But hey, okay, if this is normal for you, I can’t wait to see your follow-up.”
He winked. “Prepare to be dazzled.”
She already was—and it had nothing to do with the grand gesture of a helicopter. It had more to do with his instinctive thoughtfulness, from noticing which flavored water she preferred to remembering how her nose burned in the sun. She didn’t need a keeper, but after taking care of herself since elementary school, she had to confess it felt nice to have someone who… cared.
Leaning back on her hands, she watched the way the sun dappled along the lean lines of his face. “What if I’d given out halfway to the waterfall?”
“Then we would have watched the water buffaloes instead.”
>“It’s not all about you, babe, and trust me, you don’t have a corner on the market when it comes to second-guessing yourself.” He toyed with the end of her ponytail, tugging lightly. “Hey, where’s the Stella I know? The tough cookie who chewed me out a few minutes ago because I didn’t show up earlier?”