More important, why did it make him break out in a cold sweat in spite of the fire-hot female nestled against him?
The woman was messing with his mind with all her talk about commitment-shy men. More likely she was pinning baggage from her ex onto every other guy. "Why'd you marry him?"
He hadn't meant to say it, even half hoped Kathleen already slept deeply enough that she wouldn't have heard him.
"Why did I marry Andrew?" Her groggy whisper caressed Tanner's bare arm. "Good question. Wish I knew the answer."
Her wistful tone tweaked his conscience. Her day had sucked enough without him bringing up her dirtbag ex. Tanner tucked Kathleen closer as if that might somehow insulate her against the memories as well as the cold. "Not everything in life makes sense."
"Too true, I was in the Uniformed Services' med school when I met him. Even then I made a point of not dating flyers. Seemed a dangerous mix, given my job." Her speech slowed and slurred until he thought she'd drifted off. Then she stirred again. "He was a guest speaker for a seminar about flyers and G-force stresses to the body. He spotted me, decided he wanted me. He was persistent. Maybe it had something to do with my last sister getting married. Or maybe my biological clock was ticking with the approaching thirties. Or maybe it was just full-moon madness. I never figured it out, other than that he reminded me of an old college crush at a nostalgic moment. Big, blond and God could he talk."
The world stilled as Tanner's every thought tightened to the woman against him with her head pillowed on his arm. Did she even realize what she'd told him?
"I like a man who talks. Forget the brooding, silent types. I want to hear what's going on in a guy's head, because I'm not very good at guessing and game playing. Problem was, Andrew was a liar. So all that talk didn't mean anything. My fault for trusting him…"
Her back rose and fell with even breaths. He hoped she'd drifted off because he wasn't sure how much more he could stand hearing about her ex before he wanted to pummel the guy for hurting Kathleen. He didn't want to think about the rest of what she'd said. Not yet.
"Tanner?"
"Huh?"
"I know I've already said it, but it bears repeating. Thank you for pulling me out of the car."
He grunted, not at all interested in reliving that moment when he'd thought he wouldn't be able to unbuckle her belt. The raw spot on his hand taunted him with how close a call it had been.
"And thank you for my name."
He winged a prayer of thanks that she was alive to receive it. And he intended to keep her that way. "You're one of the guys now, so don't be surprised when the keyboard on your office computer mysteriously swaps to the Mongolian alphabet."
Her smile brushed his arm as her breathing slid into the even rhythm of sleep. Night sounds echoed around him, desert animals awake and alert in the dark outside. Finally Tanner allowed himself the adrenaline letdown, the battle aftermath that his body demanded.
He'd almost lost her.
Every breath became a struggle, like combating barbells weighting against his chest. A trembling started deep inside him, working its way out. Only his clenched jaw kept his teeth from chattering. He recognized the feeling from near misses in flight and from flying combat.
But the greater intensity this time caught him unaware. His arms shook while he held Kathleen and thought about how close she'd come to dying.
Pushing through the panic, an image of Kathleen eased into his mind. Her smile over "Athena." Her lone happy tear. Her throaty purr when they'd kissed.
The shaking eased as he let his new Christmas memories slide over the old. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Merry Christmas, Athena."
Christmas morning.
For the first time in years, Tanner woke with a sense of holiday expectation. Thanks to Kathleen.
His arms closed on the empty space beside him.
Damn. He would have liked to watch her wake up.
Refusing to let anything blot his mood, Tanner stretched his arms overhead and rolled to his back. Not bad. A few kinks, but no lingering effects from the accident or the night spent on the bare floor.
Where was Kathleen? They needed to get moving if they planned to hit the main road in time to pick up any passing church traffic. He wanted to check in at the E.R. and then with the security police, the sooner the better.
If his suspicions about the screwups and blown tires proved correct, he needed to get his wounded warrior goddess out of the battle, pronto. The commander had only meant for them to investigate. He'd probably never considered they would be in danger from someone trying to cover up the truth. But Tanner would make sure Kathleen didn't remain in harm's way. Which she probably wouldn't like.
Probably?
Better to ease his way into the discussion throughout the day.