Apparently she didn't have any more control over her feelings now than she'd had over her life recently. She prayed that with her currently messed-up mind she could get past this panicky sense of foreboding that Ramon would burst into the room at any moment. That he would snatch Lucia or shoot Lucas.
Dlos mio, she needed air, fresh air. Couldn't someone open a window?
She gripped the phone tighter. Surely she was being paranoid. After all Tomas's talk about needing counseling and her own fears that she couldn't make a decision, she should leave protection from Ramon in the hands of the experts.
Chapter 14
Damn, it felt good to be in an Air Force flight suit again.
Lucas strode down the narrow corridor at the Cartina National Air Base after mission planning tomorrow night's return flight to Charleston. His clothes had been exactly where he'd left them, in his room. How full circle to be here again. Yet because of a blown-up bridge, he'd been forced to take such a roundabout route back.
Sara had been close to help for so long and no one in this godforsaken country had looked farther than their noses to help her.
Scratch that. The Cartinians had been making strides to clean up their boundaries, the Aragon situation and this op, both a case in point. He only wished the local government had taken care of the problem years ago.
Rounding the corner in the dilapidated billeting hall, he took reassurance in the guards at both ends and an extra outside his room—where Sara and Lucia would sleep.
Where they waited inside for him.
Throughout most of the day escaping and the evening mission planning, he'd done a damn fine job of pretending his heart wasn't jackhammering in his ears. But now, in the silent corridor with only his boots thudding, he could hear his heart just fine. And he would be spending the night in the same room with Sara—and their four-year-old kid.
Quarters were limited and no way would he or any of his people bunk downtown in Cartina's capital even if the accommodations were more spacious. So they'd doubled up for the night, their last in Cartina before taking off after dark tomorrow. As much as he wanted to leave in the morning, he preferred an after-sundown takeoff with NVGs—night vision goggles. Those hulking gray C-17s made too large a target for some rebel with a shoulder-held missile launcher.
Not much longer and this would be behind them.
He knocked twice, softly in case Lucia slept. "Sara? It's me."
"Entre," she answered low.
Twisting the knob, he nudged open the door. Lucia was already tucked in asleep on a cot against the wall, a stark sheet over her.
Sara sat cross-legged on the bed by an open window. He thought about cautioning her to move away, but they were on the inside of a quadrangle layout—safe enough for her to enjoy fresh air from the enclosed courtyard since the air conditioner was on the fritz. He imagined she might feel claustrophobic for a while to come.
He'd spoken with Tomas after the boy's conversation with Sara. Her brother was worried about her and the adjustments ahead. Tomas hadn't doubted for a second what happened to her, a gift of trust Lucas still wished like hell he could have given her from the start.
Sara had been so emphatic when they'd made love about not being pampered. She'd wanted all-out passion, no restraints. He hadn't been difficult to persuade—and damn, he needed to quit thinking about that or he would be hitting the cold shower.
Instead, he leaned in the doorway, amazed at how this woman with her bubbles and strong will had grabbed hold of her fate and broken free for their daughter. Sara had always dazzled him, but in their time apart, she'd matured into one helluva steely woman.
He, however, had lost too much of himself over the past five years to be a better man, when he hadn't been enough for her in the first place. How could he offer her the sensitivity she needed to get through this transition time? Sara herself had said he couldn't be responsible for someone else's heart when he couldn't find his own.
Except he could have sworn he was hearing his in his ears again.
Her head tipped to the side as she watched him watch her. He could feel the heat of her gaze grazing over him, finally pulling from his eyes, down his flight suit to the tips of his boots and up again. "You're you again."
That was good? "I'm sorry about the lack of privacy."
"Me, too. You know I would like to be with you tonight, but, well..." Waving a hand toward their sleeping daughter, Sara shrugged.
"Ditto." Definitely ditto. He may not have much to offer her emotionally, but at least in bed he gave her all she wanted, needed.
Demanded.
He grinned. Then winced, willing down the twitch of arousal.
Lucas pointed to the bowl and straw in her lap. "If that's supper, I think I'll pass."
"Not supper. Although I did eat, I promise. I've been checking my glucose levels faithfully and even received a total okay from the doctor." Smiling, she leaned over the bowl, put the straw between her lips, sucked lightly, straightened....