She managed a nod with the next moan, wondering if she was selfish for lapping up the glorious feel of his hands that knew her body so well. "Are you sure your arm's all right to do this?"
His thumbs worked down the edges of her spine. "Totally okay."
Of course. He was invincible.
Although now that he was letting her see the human side of him as well with confidences, she found herself more drawn than ever. "I'm sorry to have added another scar to your beautiful body."
"You've already apologized. But, uh, beautiful?" He hesitated rubbing for a heartbeat, then slid to cup her waist. "That's not a word men prefer to hear describing them."
"You work out, don't you?"
He grunted.
"You're fit. But you don't strike me as a team sports sort of man, so I assume you work out."
"I still run." His hands massaged up her waist, his fingers grazing the sides of her breasts. She shivered. "Usually at the beach. I like open spaces."
"Plus the solitude?" She struggled for words to keep from falling too deeply under the spell of his hands. "For a loner, you chose a strange profession. Even your plane is a crew aircraft. I would have expected you to fly a single-seat fighter jet."
"Seems more logical, doesn't it?"
So why had he made the choice? A subconscious yearning for something different? That gave her pause. "Are you happy with your current assignment?"
"Charleston has amazing beaches and barrier islands, not as mountainous as the seaside here, but no less awesome. I think you could like it in South Carolina."
Thank goodness for his relaxing touch because her muscles were kinking again. Not that there was any real decision to be made. Of course she would go to the States and Charleston was the logical location to settle. Lucia needed to know her father. Tomas had roots there.
She and Lucas were married and she loved him. Totally. In a world swirling with turmoil and decisions, she couldn't hide from that very clear reality.
So why did things still feel strangely…off? "I guess the time has come to discuss the future in concrete terms."
"Yeah, here we are again, sitting in bed together talking about being married." He rubbed down her arms, his hot breath drying her damp hair. "Are you going to call my marriage discussion 'bull' again?"
She winced. Could she have really been that heartless? Or so selfishly heart-hurt by his duty proposal that she'd brushed off his words as if they didn't matter.
Sara turned in his arms, her hand to his chest. "I wish I had treasured you more then."
His forehead creased. "I don't know what to say to something like that."
"You don't have to say anything." She tapped his mouth. "Why not just let me love you?"
He blinked twice then nipped her finger. "You know we can't do anything here tonight. But I promise you can have your way with me after we land in Charleston."
"That's not what I meant."
Maybe she should have held off on deep discussions until they were no longer exhausted and vulnerable. She wasn't sure what she planned to say or even how to articulate what she hadn't been able to understand in five years. But at least they were communicating.
"You are an amazing man. You've made opportunities for yourself with little or no help. You take care of the world, clearing up other people's problems and mistakes without ever allowing yourself the least human foible."
His brow trenched deeper. "Is this a more sophisticated way of saying 'bull'?"
"Not at all. I used to envy that about you. I've worked very hard to be a stronger, better person—for our child, for me, and also because you deserve the best. I refuse to be anything but my best."
The rest crystallized in her mind like one of her bubbles in flight. "The problem is, if we are to be a truly committed couple, I need to be allowed to love you as much as you love me. I need to care for you as much as you care for me."
She smoothed her hands over that broad chest in uniform, so capable and strong it would be easy to rest her head against it for a lifetime. But she wasn't the selfish girl any longer. Her love ran deeper.
"I know there's nothing you can't handle on your own, so it's difficult for you to need anyone." She tapped his temple. "But it must be a very lonely place in there." She tapped his chest, over his heart. "In here, as well."