One day at a time. Never take it for granted.
"Why did I go to bed with you?" The truth wouldn't hurt any worse. He flattened a hand to the tree beside her head and let what he was thinking and feeling show for the first time in...he couldn't remember when. "Because I really wanted to be there, for a long time, almost from the first time I saw you. You were legal, but damn, you were young. And on that day, I was truly too much of a scumbag to stay away—"
"Stop." She clapped a hand to his mouth.
"Stop?" Speaking felt too much like kissing her hand, which messed with his head more than any drink.
"I've changed my mind." Her hand trembled. "I don't want to hear this tonight. I want to rake leaves and talk like we used to." Her hand fell away.
Her soft touch lingered, a simple caress when they'd shared far more overtly sexual touches and still he went stone hard, wanting her so much his teeth hurt. "Before you realized I'm a scumbag?"
"Yeah."
Wasn't that what he'd wanted as well in coming here tonight? So go. Leave. "Do you think you can really forget what I did that night?"
"I can forget for an evening."
Less than he'd hoped for but more than he deserved. "Fair enough."
Since she didn't move away he let himself keep staring into her eyes. What could happen outside in her parents' front yard while traffic inched past? Branches rustled overhead raining more pine straw around them, some catching in her hair. He lifted his hand and still she didn't move away, apparently as caught in this insanity as he was. He swept his fingers over her head. Silky strands. So damn soft that before he knew it he'd cupped the base of her skull.
Her pupils went wide, her gray eyes stormier still until he could have sworn the sun was sinking faster. So easily he could urge her closer. Or step forward. Or hell, just lean and taste her because it killed him, absolutely freaking killed him, that he only had spotty recollections of what happened between them that night.
He would give anything to have at least the memory of those lost hours. Although he suspected remembering would torment him even more.
The front door blasted open a second ahead of her brother Chris loping through onto the porch. "Mom sent me out to ask if Carson would like to stay for supper?"
A mom probably smart enough to realize things needed breaking up out front before he snapped the thin thread of Nikki's returning trust.
Carson backed away, shoving his hands in his pockets. He didn't deserve that trust, but he would be damned if he would abuse it again. As much as he wanted to climb those steps and hang out with this awesomely normal family and listen to Nikki's even more amazing laugh, he knew better now. He'd made a step in reclaiming their friendship, but would need to tread warily to resist stealing more.
"Thanks, but I need to get back to the squadron."
Chapter 6
She really needed to get back to work, but there were no new breaks in the investigation.
Nostalgia and longing mellowing her, Nikki stared down the empty corridor at the high school, only the rumblings of Saturday in-school suspension swelling from the lunchroom. At least she still had her tutoring stints here with older students until she resumed her junior high position. She glanced at her Minnie Mouse wristwatch she'd bought on a lark because she thought it would charm her cranky fourth period class.
Ten minutes early. Good. That would give her time to set up in the library.
Her footsteps echoed down the hall as she passed a poster announcing an FCA meeting. Good luck banners stretched for the basketball team along with a sign for the drama department's upcoming production of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
She ached to teach her students, to recapture the rash of that moment when youthful eyes lit with enthusiasm over learning something new. She even loved the challenge of breaking through with the surly ones. Junior high was such a pivotal time, building foundations and confidence to carry into this high school world with temptations and dangers beyond any she'd seen just a few short years ago when she'd graduated.
And the world beyond was definitely scarier than she'd ever imagined.
Who'd have thought she would yearn for lesson plans? Or even a tour of bus duty? She would sacrifice almost anything for a stack of ungraded papers to take her mind off what happened in the yard with Carson. Had she really almost kissed him again? And why was he working so hard for her forgiveness now?
Nikki rounded the corner into the library where she would meet up with Billy Wade Watkins. The kid didn't seem particularly interested in learning, but he preferred school to home. A start. Hopefully he would realize that education was a means to a better life. Not that social services had been able to prove squat. He'd been removed and returned to his alcoholic parents twice over the years. She'd even tried to work some magic for the kid through the base since his father was retired military, but no luck.
She scanned rows of books lining the walls, more partitioning aisles and study stations until she spied the top of a masculine head in a computer booth, a dark-haired male like Billy Wade, apparently making use of the free Internet time. She rounded a large circular table on her way to the cubicle. Feet came into view—no ratty Nike runners, but rather leather loafers?
Not the standard student gear around this school. So where was Billy Wade?
The male stood, Special Agent David Reis emerging from behind the cubicle wall. The last person she expected to see here, and one guaranteed to scare the bejesus out of her.
Her stomach bolted up to her throat. What was he doing here? And on a Saturday?