Carson nodded to Seabrook. "That'll be all, Captain. And could you let my secretary know to hold calls for the next twenty minutes? Thanks."
Vic ducked into the room, a blond lumberjack-looking fella in flannel. The somber guy had lost his daughter in a drowning accident years ago, but recently started with the program because he feared he was reaching for a bottle too often.
"What brings you here?"
"Just dropping my sister off at the commissary. Since I had time to kill while she shops, I thought I would stop by, shoot the breeze if you have a free minute."
Carson rolled his office chair back an inch from the desk. "Sure," he said, even though he really didn't have twenty seconds to spare, much less twenty minutes. But something was obviously on Vic's mind and part of the program involved helping each other out. "What can I do for you?"
"Actually, I was wondering if everything's okay with you?" Jansen dropped into a seat across from the desk, blue eyes piercing.
The guy had seen him with Nikki yesterday, but that wouldn't be cause to ask if he was all right. Although pursuing this friendship with Nikki could well be termed insanity. "Why do you ask?"
"It's been a rough couple of months around the squadron with the extra duties overseas and now Owens's death," Jansen answered, his Dakota roots filling his rolling accent. "It's a tough time to be the king."
Ah, now the visit made sense. And damn, but the guy had a point. There weren't many people around this place Carson could talk to—none for that matter. But the A. A. bond of trust and confidentiality was a cornerstone. Solid.
"I could use some advice." The words fell out of his mouth.
"Hell, Carson, are you sure you want my advice? My track record sucks, don'tcha know." It was no secret that Jansen's wife had divorced him after the death of their daughter. But from what Carson could gather it sounded as if the woman's defection had been heartless, occurring before Jansen started drinking.
"I'll take any help I can get."
"Ah, so you want to romance Nikki Price."
"Who said we're talking about Nikki?"
"Last time I checked, they don't let morons graduate from veterinary school." The rugged large animal vet smirked.
Searching for the right words for thoughts he didn't even understand, he scooped up a miniature porthole clock from his desk and checked the battery, which of course was working just fine.
"Nikki and I have this—" tenacious attraction? "—bizarre friendship that seems to defy the whole twelve year age difference. I want to understand her."
"Good-freaking luck." Snorting, Vic hooked an ankle over his knee, work boot twitching. "If you figure women out, make sure you copyright the knowledge so you can retire a millionaire."
"I'm serious here." He thunked the tiny clock back on top of the stack of performance reports. "God, how do I explain this?"
"You like a woman as more than a friend, and she likes you back."
Might as well quit lying to everyone including himself. "So it seems."
"But the problem is...?"
"Problems. Plural. We tried things once before and I screwed it up." He ticked reasons off a finger at a time. "Her family would disapprove. I'm not sure I'm husband material and she definitely deserves it all."
"Whoa." Vic held up his work-scarred hands. "You're already using the M word. I thought you were talking about liking a woman and asking her out on a date. Don't you think you're jumping ahead of yourself?"
Didn't people date to see if something more would develop? And when a woman was obviously the happily-ever-after sort, wasn't it leading her on to date when he knew full well it wouldn't lead anywhere beyond a bed? Okay, so he was old-fashioned. He couldn't help it, probably went along with his tapioca pudding mentality.
"Did you apologize for what you did before, the time you screwed it up?"
He nodded.
"Have you done something to make up for it?"
Amends. A critical part of the twelve-step program, but also keeping in mind not to press for forgiveness if the action hurt that person worse. "I'm not sure I could make this one right."
"Did you try? Even if something can't be fixed, there's comfort in knowing the other person tried."