And more importantly, I don’t want her father to hate me. I want him to bless this relationship and understand I’m going to take care of her the way she deserves.
“I don’t want to,” I say. “It’s just as simple as that. I don’t want to.”
“Dude,” Ozzy says, leaning back in his chair. “I do things I don’t want to all the time. Do you think I wanted to take care of you when you got out of control? Do you think that was fun for me?”
I sigh again.
“It wasn’t, OK? It sucked seeing you like that. But I showed up for you because you’re like a brother to me. And if you can’t show up for me for this, if you can’t just put this girl on hold for a month or two so we can get these deals done, well… then I guess you’re not the guy I thought you were.”
We stare at each other for a few moments. Then he stands up, buttons his suit coat, and says, “I’ve got meetings today. Gonna placate nervous lenders and lie to them so they don’t call our loans before the end of the day and make me fire all those people out there working their asses off for us.”
And then he walks out.
Eventually I get up, go into my own office, and shut the door behind me. Sit at my desk and think about my options.
Aria or Ozzy.
Fucking wonderful.
Why does it always have to be this way? Why do people always have to choose?
I think about losing her. A month or two seems like a very short period of time. But I know what’ll happen in those two months. Aria will graduate, probably go on some summer trip—courtesy of her parents. Backpacking through Europe or some shit. Just to get her away from me.
And they’ll do that because they know it will work. They know she’ll forget about me. She’ll meet new people, and move on. And when she comes home for college in the fall, she’ll be someone else.
She won’t be my sweet thing ever again.
That’s what I’m afraid of.
That this isn’t real. That we’re not in love. That there’s nothing there but sex, even though I tried my hardest to keep that from happening.
And so it isn’t fair, is it? To Ozzy, to her, to her family.
Keeping her for myself because I’m afraid she’ll move on is no different than walking out on someone because you have a deal in the works.
My phone starts ringing soon after that. Business to do, people to talk to, shit to plan. And I do all that because it’s my job.
But in the back of my mind I think about Aria and her parents.
And when three o’clock rolls around and it’s time to pick her up from school, I know what the right thing to do is.
Take her home.
I have to take her home.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE – ARIA
Well, Ryker doesn’t show up at lunch for a quickie. But he left a message on my phone that he’ll be there after school. I wasn’t really expecting a quickie for lunch, but it was a good fantasy while sitting in calculus. In fact, I fantasized about him all day. I wrote my name out in cursive. Mrs. Aria North. Mrs. Ryker North. I did it over and over again. I pictured my wedding, and our honeymoon, and what our kids would look like.
The whole shebang.
And I loved every second of those fantasies.
I know how I got to his place is wrong. I understand that. My father is pulling his funding, his business partner is crazy upset, and my family life is a mess.
But I’m relieved that our relationship is now out in the open and we get to spend more time together.
It’s not playing house, I tell myself. Yes, it’s a little soon to move in together but everything about it feels right to me and I can’t wait to see him after school.
He’s waiting for me outside school at the curb with the parents. His silver sports car just a little bit out of place in the line of Mercedes and Audis the parents drive.
I didn’t tell anyone what I did over break other than stay at my sister’s and take the Photoshop class. No one was impressed. Not one word about the older man I’m now living with. Not one word about losing my virginity, or the game Ryker and I played in the Corinthian, or getting caught having sex in my bedroom.
No popular boys will be asking me to prom. In fact, I’m not going to prom. I was never going to have a date to begin with. I’m just not what these boys are looking for.
But that’s OK. I’m what Ryker’s looking for and that’s all that matters now.
I wave at him as I open the car door and slide in. “Were you waiting long?” I ask, leaning over to kiss his cheek.