Men at Arms (Discworld 15)
'Oh, I see.' Carrot straightened up.
'Did they happen to say . . . sort of, in passing . . . anything else about dwarfs?' said Cuddy.
'I think we're going to have to go and have a word with the Day Watch about the arrest of Coalface,' Carrot said.
'We ain't got no weapons,' said Colon.
'I'm certain Coalface has nothing to do with the murder of Hammerhock,' said Carrot. 'We are armed with the truth. What can harm us if we are armed with the truth?'
'Well, a crossbow bolt can, e.g., go right through your eye and out the back of your head,' said Sergeant Colon.
All right, sergeant,' said Carrot, 'so where do we get some more weapons?'
The bulk of the Armoury loomed against the sunset.
It was strange to find an armoury in a city which relied on deceit, bribery and assimilation to defeat its enemies but, as Sergeant Colon said, once you'd won their weapons off 'em you needed somewhere to store the things.
Carrot rapped on the door. After a while there were footsteps, and a small window slid back. A suspicious voice said: 'Yes?'
'Corporal Carrot, city militia.'
'Never heard of it. Bugger off.'
The hatch snapped back. Carrot heard Nobby snigger.
He thumped on the door again.
'Yes?'
'I'm Corporal Carrot—' The hatch moved, but hit Carrot's truncheon as he rammed it in the hole.
'—and I'm here to collect some arms for my men.'
'Yeah? Where's your authority?'
'What? But I'm—'
The truncheon was knocked away and the hatch thudded into place.
' 'Scuse me,' said Corporal Nobbs, pushing past. 'Let me have a go. I've been here before, sort of thing.'
He kicked the door with his steel capped boots, known and feared wherever men were on the floor and in no position to fight back.
Snap. 'I told you to bug—'
'Auditors,' said Nobby.
There was a moment's silence.
'What?'
'Here to take inventory.'
'Where's your auth—'
'Oh? Oh? He says where's my authority?' Nobby leered at the guards. 'Oh? Keeps me hanging around here while his cronies can nip out the back to bring the stuff back out of hock, eh?'
'I nev—'