'Interesting point,' said Carrot. He produced his black book. 'I'm relieving you of your command.'
'—otherwise I get my goohuloog head kicked in.'
'—otherwise I get my goohuloog head kicked in.'
'Wha—? Are you mad?'
'No, sir, but I'm choosing to believe that you are. There are regulations laid down for this eventuality.'
'Where is your authority?' Quirke stared at the crowd. Hah! I suppose you'll say this armed mob is your authority, eh?'
Carrot looked shocked.
'No. The Laws and Ordinances of Ankh-Morpork, sir. It's all down here. Can you tell me what evidence you have against the prisoner Coalface?'
'That damn troll? It's a troll!'
'Yes?'
Quirke looked around.
'Look, I don't have to tell you with everyone here—'
'As a matter of fact, according to the rules, you do. That's why it's called evidence. It means “that which is seen”.'
'Listen!' hissed Quirke, leaning towards Carrot. 'He's a troll. He's as guilty as hell of something. They all are!'
Carrot smiled brightly.
Colon had come to know that smile. Carrot's face seemed to go waxy and glisten when he smiled like that.
'And so you locked him up?'
'Right!'
'Oh. I see. I understand now.'
Carrot turned away.
'I don't know what you think you're—' Quirke began.
People hardly saw Carrot move. There was just a blur, a sound like a steak being thumped on a slab, and the captain was flat on the cobbles.
A couple of members of the Day Watch appeared cautiously in the doorway.
Everyone became aware of a rattling noise. Nobby was spinning the morningstar round and round on the end of its chain, except that because the spiky ball was a very heavy spiky ball, and because the difference between Nobby and a dwarf was species rather than height, it was more a case of both of them orbiting around each other. If he let go, it was an even chance that the target would be hit by a spiky ball or an unexploded Corporal Nobbs. Neither prospect pleased.
Tut it down, Nobby,' hissed Colon, 'I don't think they're going to make trouble . . .'
'I can't let go, Fred!'
Carrot sucked his knuckles.
'Do you think that comes under the heading of “minimum necessary force”, sergeant?' he asked. He appeared to be genuinely worried.
'Fred! Fred! What'll I do?'
Nobby was a terrified blur. When you are swinging a spiky ball on a chain, the only realistic option is to keep moving. Standing still is an interesting but brief demon- stration of a spiral in action.