'What are you doing?' said Agnes. She looked carefully. There was no bandage round Magrat's neck.
'Trying to hook this mobile on to the chandelier,' said Magrat. 'Uh... that's done it. But it tangles up all the time! Verence says it's very good for young children to see lots of bright colours and shapes. It speeds development, he says. But I can't find Millie anywhere.'
There's a castle full of vampires, and she's decorating the playroom, said Perdita. What's wrong with this woodcut?
Somehow, Agnes couldn't bring herself to blurt out a warning. Apart from anything else, the chair looked wobbly.
'Little Esme's only two weeks old,' said Agnes.
'Isn't that a bit young for education?'
'Never too early to start, he says. What can I do for you?'
'We need you to come with us. Right now.'
'Why?' said Magrat, and to Agnes's relief she stepped down from the chair.
'Why? Magrat, there's vampires in the castle! The Magpyr family are vampires!'
'Don't be silly, they're very pleasant people. I was talking to the Countess only this morning-'
'What about?' Agnes demanded. 'I bet you can't remember!'
'I am Queen, Agnes,' said Magrat reproachfully.
'Sorry, but they affect people's minds-'
'Yours?'
'Um, no, not mine. I have- I'm- It seems I'm immune,' Agnes lied.
'And his?' said Magrat sharply.
'I am protected by my faith in Om,' said Oats.
Magrat raised her eyebrows at Agnes. 'Is he?'
Agnes shrugged. 'Apparently.'
Magrat leaned closer. 'He's not drunk, is he? He's holding two beer bottles.'
'They're full of holy water,' Agnes whispered.
'Verence said Omnianism seemed a very sensible and stable religion,' hissed Magrat.
They both looked at Oats, mentally trying the words on him for size.
'Are we leaving?' he said.
'Of course not!' snapped Magrat, straightening up. 'Thus is silly, Agnes. I'm a married woman, I'm Queen, I've got a little baby. And you come in here telling me we've got vampiresl I've got guests here and-'
'The guests are vampires, your majesty,' said Agnes. 'The King invited them!'
'Verence says we have to learn to deal with all sorts of people-'
'We think Granny Weatherwax is in very bad trouble,' said Agnes.
Magrat stopped. 'How bad?' she said.