No one said: He's a useful idiot.
'Nevertheless... the Watch will have to be brought to heel.'
'Vimes will do what he is told. He must do. Scrope will be at least as legitimate a choice as Vetinari was. Vimes is the kind of man who must have a boss, because that gives him legitimacy.'
Slant coughed. 'Is that all, gentlemen?' he said.
'What about the Ankh-Morpork Times?' said a chair. 'Bit of a problem shaping up there?'
'People find it amusing,' said Mr Slant. 'And nobody takes it seriously. The Inquirer outsells it two to one already, after just one day. And it is underfinanced. And it has, uh, difficulty with supplies.'
'Good tale in the Inquirer about that woman and the snake,' said a chair. ve can drink brandy and gin if it's handy, and ve can sup vhisky and rum, but zer drink ve abhor and ve drink no more, is zer--'
"Tuppence is tuppence, that's all I'm saying!'
'Look, he's starting to twitchY said Sacharissa.
'And he can't sing, either,' said Gowdie. 'All right, all right, I'm going, I'm going
Sacharissa patted Otto's clammy hand.
'You can beat it!' she said urgently. 'We're all here for you! Aren't we, everyone? Ann't we? Under her baleful gaze the dwarfs responded with a chorus of half-hearted 'yesses', even though Boddony's expression suggested that he wasn't certain what Otto was here for.
Gowdie came back with a small package. Sacharissa snatched it out of his hand and held it out to Otto, who reared back.
'No, it's just rat!' said Sacharissa. 'Perfectly okay! You're allowed rat, right?'
Otto froze for a moment and then snatched up the packet.
He bit into it.
In the sudden silence Sacharissa wondered if she wasn't hearing a very faint sound, like the straw at the bottom of a milkshake.
After a few seconds Otto opened his eyes and then looked sidelong at the dwarfs. He dropped the packet.
'Oh, vot shame! Vhere can I put my face? Oh, vot must you think of me
Sacharissa clapped with desperate enthusiasm. 'No, no! We're all very impressed! Aren't we, everyone?' Out of Otto's sight, she waved one hand very deliberately at the dwarfs. There was another ragged chorus of agreement.
'I mean, I haf been going through "cold bat" now for more than three months,' muttered Otto. 'It is such a disgusting thing to break down now and--'
'Oh, raw meat's nothing,' said Sacharissa. That's allowed, isn't it?'
'Yes, but for a second there I nearly--'
'Yes, but you didn't,' said Sacharissa. 'That's what's important. You wanted to and didn't.' She turned to the dwarfs. 'You can all go back to what you were doing,' she said. 'Otto is perfectly all right now.'
'Are you sure--' Boddony began, and then nodded. He'd rather have argued with a wild vampire than Sacharissa at this moment. 'Right you are, miss.'
Otto sat down, wiping his forehead, as the dwarfs filed out.
Sacharissa patted his hand. 'Do you want a drink--'
'Oh!'
'--of water, Otto?' said Sacharissa.
'No, no, everythink is okay, I think. Uh. Oh dear. My goodness. I am so sorry. You think you are on top of it, and then suddenly it all comes back to you. Vot a day...'