She looked down. Rob Anybody Feegle and a few of the pictsies she’d already met were lurking there, watching her nervously.
“Very…cozy,” said Tiffany, because that was better than saying “how sooty” or “how delightfully noisy.” She added: “Do you cook for all of you on that little fire?”
The big space in the center held a small fire, under a hole in the roof that let the smoke get lost in the bushes above and in return brought in a little extra light.
“Aye, mistress,” said Rob Anybody.
“The small stuff, bunnies an’ that,” added Daft Wullie. “The big stuff we roasts in the chalk pi—mmph mmph…”
“Sorry, what was that?” said Tiffany.
“What?” said Rob Anybody innocently, his hand firmly over the mouth of the struggling Wullie.
“What was Wullie saying about roasting ‘big stuff’?” Tiffany demanded. “You roast ‘big stuff’ in the chalk pit? Is this the kind of big stuff that goes ‘baa’? Because that’s the only big stuff you’ll find in these hills!”
She knelt down on the grimy floor and brought her face to within an inch of Rob Anybody’s face, which was grinning madly and sweating.
“Is it?”
“Ach…ah…weel…in a manner o’ speakin’…”
“It is?”
“’Tis not thine, mistress!” shrieked Rob Anybody. “We ne’er took an Aching ship wi’out the leave o’ Granny!”
“Granny Aching let you have sheep?”
“Aye, she did, did, did that! As p-payment!”
“Payment? For what?”
“No Aching ship ever got caught by wolves!” Rob Anybody gabbled. “No foxes took an Aching lamb, right? Nor no lamb e’er had its een pecked out by corbies, not wi’ Hamish up in the sky!”
Tiffany looked sideways at the toad.
“Crows,” said the toad. “They sometimes peck out the eyes of—”
“Yes, yes, I know what they do,” said Tiffany. She calmed down a little. “Oh. I see. You kept away the crows and wolves and foxes for Granny, yes?”
“Aye, mistress! No’ just kept ’em awa’, neither!” said Rob Anybody triumphantly. “There’s good eatin’ on a wolf.”
“Aye, they kebabs up a treat, but they’re no’ as good as a ship, tho…mmph mmph…” Wullie managed, before a hand was clamped over his mouth again.
“From a hag ye only tak’ what ye’s given,” said Rob Anybody, holding his struggling brother firmly. “Since she’s gone, though, weel…we tak’ the odd old ewe that would’ve deid anywa’, but ne’er one wi’ the Aching mark, on my honor.”
“On your honor as a drunken rowdy thief?” said Tiffany.
Rob Anybody beamed. “Aye!” he said. “An’ I got a lot of good big reputation to protect there! That’s the truth o’ it, mistress. We keeps an eye on the ships of the hills, in mem’ry o’ Granny Aching, an’ in return we tak’ what is hardly worth a thing.”
“And the baccy too, o’ course…mmph mmph…” and then, once again, Daft Wullie was struggling to breathe.
Tiffany took a deep breath, not a wise move in a Feegle colony. Rob Anybody grinned nervously.
“You take the tobacco? The tobacco the shepherds leave for…my grandmother?”
“Ach, I forgot about that,” squeaked Rob Anybody. “But we allus wait a few days in case she comes to collect it hersel’. Ye can ne’er tell wi a hag, after all. And we do mind the ships, mistress. And she wouldna grudge us, mistress! Many’s a night she’d share a pipe wi’ the kelda outside o’ her house on the wheelies! She’d not be one to let good baccy get all rainy! Please, mistress!”
Tiffany felt intensely angry, and what made it worse was that she was angry with herself.